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"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
Meet the queen who's literally crappy and a man who's literally bananas. And she's probably never married due to her toilet personality, but Banana Guy over there seems to see the good underneath all that layer of poop.
Recorded back in May 2013, this was the continuation of the convo Tina & I had after "How To Grow A Cat", probably explains the theme continuation with pot & cats.
And BOY we were high af. Probably on medication cuz I was sick that time, & so was Tina, cuz she was coughing. She's probably confused here cuz either I talk too fast or the audio isn't really coming through in Skype. Sowwy Tinushka :(
Also in the beginning I wore a Soup.io shirt & she wore a Tumblr one, and at the end she has a Soundcloud shirt on while I've got a Chirbit shirt.
She sadly did not have the creativity to name all of them unique names so she named each one a number from 1-100. One of them was named “one”, the next was “two” and so on all the way to one hundred. But, in a tragic accident, 99 of the children died. The only one who survived was the one named “Ninety”. Ninety eventually grew up and lived a whole life and she even had a few children of her own. One day, while Ninety’s children were playing outside, they stumbled upon a stray dog and the decided to keep it. Ninety did not want the children to have a dog so they hid it and named it “This” so that they could talk about it around their mom without her knowing. They would say “Lets go take This outside.” and things like that behind their mom’s back. One day, while Ninety’s children were not paying attention, This walks out into the middle of the street and gets hit by a car. This eventually dies and Ninety’s kids don’t tell their mother even then. No one else ever hears about This ever again.
Only Ninety’s Kids remember This.
How dare you make me read this with my own two eyes
- Don’t have them die of old age after a long, fulfilling life. Many people don’t even think of this as sad (note that this can still work if you have enough of the other factors).
- Leave one of their major goals unfinished. The more enthusiastic they are about completing the goal, the sadder.
- Give them strong relationships with other characters.
- Make them fight against whatever is causing their death. Their ultimate loss is sadder if they struggle.
- Kill them in the middle of their character arc.
- Don’t describe their funeral in detail. Maybe it’s just me, but I find that long descriptions of funerals kill the sadness.
That’s enough Satan’s publisher…
7. If possible, try to kill them off in the middle of the story, so we had time to like them and we will have time to let the loss settle in.
8. Also, place surviving characters in a situation where having the deceased person there would help them get out. You can choose whether you will point this fact out or if you want the audience to make the connection themselves.
9. Make them die by sacrificing themselves to save someone they love from a danger created by the antagonist.
based on a few deaths that made me blub like a baby…
10. have their loved one, broken hearted, tell the team to stop fighting because “its over.”
11. have their pet come looking for them.
12. have their loved one perform a popular song at their funeral so it makes the fans cry whenever it’s played.
13. family witnessing the death and/or blaming themselves.
so… let’s add some frustration to your dear readers’ sadness, shall we?
14. kill the character in the middle of making a joke, smiling, or expressing/experiencing joy/happiness.
15. make the character’s death slow and painful, but make them unable to call out for help even though they can literally see the other characters nearby.
16. after killing the character, have others think the character had betrayed them so they’d always hate them and remember them as traitors and never say nice things about them… Give your readers no chance to have group-therapy with other characters by making them the only ones who know the truth.
17. right before their death, show a side of them nobody has seen. (someone who is always tough and brave being genuinely scared of dying alone; someone who is always laughing being in tears before dying, etc.)
18. make them the only person who knows a big important secret that would help other characters in the story.
19. have them being lied to before dying. (thinking they’ve been betrayed; thinking they weren’t loved; thinking they’ve lost their loved ones, etc)
20. make the character very enthusiastic/passionate about a certain goal, constantly put stress on their goal, have them die unexpectedly before they can reach their goal.
and the best one…
21. have another beloved character kill them–better be a close friend to your character, one that absolutely nobody suspects, one that everyone can’t help but love, one who is always enthusiastic about things and encourages your character. THEN
- reveal the truth only later when it’s too late and the a-hole character has already escaped.
- have a cowardly character know the truth and never tell anyone else
- have another character find out the truth and have them die before revealing it to others.
- have the said character ^ not actually die, but go through something so they’d forget the friend of the deceased character is actually an asshole.
This way only your readers will know the truth, thus the frustration would be… most enjoyable for you.
22. Don’t kill their body. Kill their mind.
Leave the physical shell walking and talking, but strip out everything that made that person who they were. Make them forget all about their loved ones, themselves, their experiences and past, their skills, and have them have to start over completely from scratch. Physical and mental disabilities bonus points.
And keep them in a place where their loved ones will be taunted every day by a living ghost.
a fantasy book where:
- the necromancer isn’t at all evil, keeps their reanimated cat as a companion
- the ‘dark lord’ is woman who wears a floor length floral cloak and pink kitten heels
- the orcs are highly intelligent and frequently engage in orc chess and deep philosophical debates
- the elvish archer is the clumsiest, most inaccurate little shit ever
- the bard writes deep emo poetry, constantly quoting sonnets by the most talented musicians of the era- ‘fall out bard’ and ‘panic at the inn’
- the mage only knows 3 spells- and they all involve cutlery
- the intellectual character that finds the powerful relic/enchanted item/mysterious glowy thing is 120% done with all of it ‘for GODS sake, that is the SEVENTH DARK ORB THIS YEAR are yOU KIDDING’
- the healer character is also the most ripped, usually ends up treating their own wounds more than anyone elses
- the ‘deep broody’ character is actually mute the whole time but no one realises and thinks it’s just part of his moody persona until he has to fucking spell it out for them (literally), spends the whole story making exasperated faces and gestures
- the dragon that’s hunting them down for the whole story is actually just trying to give back the shoe that one of them lost while running away, and is actually very conversational ‘bro, you’ve got this all wrong– look, you dropped this bro, haha i’m always forgetting stuff too don’t worry’
I am all about stories where the hero and villain know each other very well and were once friends, but I could deal with it being used another way.
What if instead of being used for drama, for wistfulness and pleas to join the other side, it was more like the hero looking over a battlefield going Seriously, who does she think she’s kidding, she’s been using the same chess strategy since we were seven or the villain picking a headquarters in a specific climate because she knows the hero hates hot weather or deciding Send in some forces to round up all the copies of his favorite poet’s work, that’ll tick him off.
Or most of all them still having inside jokes with each other.
#the forces on either side wear uniforms the color that the other one cant stand #makes sure to stop the import of their favorite candies. like all other food and stuff can pass. just not THOSE candies #’DID YOU KIDNAP MY CAT?!’ ‘Yeah. He’s a sweetheart. Can I keep him?’ ‘GIVE ME BACK MY CAT.’ ‘Yeah ok.’ #sends cat back with a bow and ‘next time don’t keep your key in the same place you did when we were room mates dumbass’#’Ma’am…the enemy has sent over a…a turkey?’ ‘…That mother fucker HE WAS SUPPOSED TO NEVER MENTION IT AGAIN. THAT’S IT. #SEND HIM A FUCKING GOAT HE’S TERRIFIED OF THEM
You can celebrate it, embrace it, accept it, get over it, or whatever you feel the need to do, but there is no denying it. That is the official story. We received some wonderful press in the wake of the series finale at the end of last week, and just about every piece I read got it right: Korra and Asami fell in love. Were they friends? Yes, and they still are, but they also grew to have romantic feelings for each other.
Was Korrasami “endgame,” meaning, did we plan it from the start of the series? No, but nothing other than Korra’s spiritual arc was. Asami was a duplicitous spy when Mike and I first conceived her character. Then we liked her too much so we reworked the story to keep her in the dark regarding her father’s villainous activities. Varrick and Zhu Li weren’t originally planned to end up as a couple either, but that’s where we took the story/where the story took us. That’s how writing works the vast majority of the time. You give these characters life and then they tell you what they want to do.
I have bragging rights as the first Korrasami shipper (I win!). As we wrote Book 1, before the audience had ever laid eyes on Korra and Asami, it was an idea I would kick around the writers’ room. At first we didn’t give it much weight, not because we think same-sex relationships are a joke, but because we never assumed it was something we would ever get away with depicting on an animated show for a kids network in this day and age, or at least in 2010.
Makorra was only “endgame” as far as the end of Book 1. Once we got into Book 2 we knew we were going to have them break up, and we never planned on getting them back together. Sorry, friends. I like Mako too, and I am sure he will be just fine in the romance department. He grew up and learned about himself through his relationships with Asami and Korra, and he’s a better person for it, and he’ll be a better partner for whomever he ends up with.
Once Mako and Korra were through, we focused on developing Korra and Asami’s relationship. Originally, it was primarily intended to be a strong friendship. Frankly, we wanted to set most of the romance business aside for the last two seasons. Personally, at that point I didn’t want Korra to have to end up with someone at the end of series. We obviously did it in Avatar, but even that felt a bit forced to me. I’m usually rolling my eyes when that happens in virtually every action film, “Here we go again…” It was probably around that time that I came across this quote from Hayao Miyazaki:
“I’ve become skeptical of the unwritten rule that just because a boy and girl appear in the same feature, a romance must ensue. Rather, I want to portray a slightly different relationship, one where the two mutually inspire each other to live - if I’m able to, then perhaps I’ll be closer to portraying a true expression of love.”
I agree with him wholeheartedly, especially since the majority of the examples in media portray a female character that is little more than a trophy to be won by the male lead for his derring-do. So Mako and Korra break the typical pattern and end up respecting, admiring, and inspiring each other. That is a resolution I am proud of.
However, I think there needs to be a counterpart to Miyazaki’s sentiment: Just because two characters of the same sex appear in the same story, it should not preclude the possibility of a romance between them. No, not everyone is queer, but the other side of that coin is that not everyone is straight. The more Korra and Asami’s relationship progressed, the more the idea of a romance between them organically blossomed for us. However, we still operated under this notion, another “unwritten rule,” that we would not be allowed to depict that in our show. So we alluded to it throughout the second half of the series, working in the idea that their trajectory could be heading towards a romance.
But as we got close to finishing the finale, the thought struck me: How do I know we can’t openly depict that? No one ever explicitly said so. It was just another assumption based on a paradigm that marginalizes non-heterosexual people. If we want to see that paradigm evolve, we need to take a stand against it. And I didn’t want to look back in 20 years and think, “Man, we could have fought harder for that.” Mike and I talked it over and decided it was important to be unambiguous about the intended relationship.
We approached the network and while they were supportive there was a limit to how far we could go with it, as just about every article I read accurately deduced. It was originally written in the script over a year ago that Korra and Asami held hands as they walked into the spirit portal. We went back and forth on it in the storyboards, but later in the retake process I staged a revision where they turned towards each other, clasping both hands in a reverential manner, in a direct reference to Varrick and Zhu Li’s nuptial pose from a few minutes prior. We asked Jeremy Zuckerman to make the music tender and romantic, and he fulfilled the assignment with a sublime score. I think the entire last two-minute sequence with Korra and Asami turned out beautiful, and again, it is a resolution of which I am very proud. I love how their relationship arc took its time, through kindness and caring. If it seems out of the blue to you, I think a second viewing of the last two seasons would show that perhaps you were looking at it only through a hetero lens.
Was it a slam-dunk victory for queer representation? I think it falls short of that, but hopefully it is a somewhat significant inching forward. It has been encouraging how well the media and the bulk of the fans have embraced it. Sadly and unsurprisingly, there are also plenty of people who have lashed out with homophobic vitriol and nonsense. It has been my experience that by and large this kind of mindset is a result of a lack of exposure to people whose lives and struggles are different from one’s own, and due to a deficiency in empathy––the latter being a key theme in Book 4. (Despite what you might have heard, bisexual people are real!) I have held plenty of stupid notions throughout my life that were planted there in any number of ways, or even grown out of my own ignorance and flawed personality. Yet through getting to know people from all walks of life, listening to the stories of their experiences, and employing some empathy to try to imagine what it might be like to walk in their shoes, I have been able to shed many hurtful mindsets. I still have a long way to go, and I still have a lot to learn. It is a humbling process and hard work, but nothing on the scale of what anyone who has been marginalized has experienced. It is a worthwhile, lifelong endeavor to try to understand where people are coming from.
There is the inevitable reaction, “Mike and Bryan just caved in to the fans.” Well, which fans? There were plenty of Makorra shippers out there, so if we had gone back on our decision and gotten those characters back together, would that have meant we caved in to those fans instead? Either direction we went, there would inevitably be a faction that was elated and another that was devastated. Trust me, I remember Kataang vs. Zutara. But one of those directions is going to be the one that feels right to us, and Mike and I have always made both Avatar and Korra for us, first and foremost. We are lucky that so many other people around the world connect with these series as well. Tahno playing trombone––now that was us caving in to the fans!
But this particular decision wasn’t only done for us. We did it for all our queer friends, family, and colleagues. It is long over due that our media (including children’s media) stops treating non-heterosexual people as nonexistent, or as something merely to be mocked. I’m only sorry it took us so long to have this kind of representation in one of our stories.
I’ll wrap this up with some incredible words that Mike and I received in a message from a former Korra crew member. He is a deeply religious person who devotes much of his time and energy not only to his faith, but also to helping young people. He and I may have starkly different belief systems, but it is heartwarming and encouraging that on this issue we are aligned in a positive, progressive direction:
“I’ve read enough reviews to get a sense of how it affected people. One very well-written article in Vanity Fair called it subversive (in a good way, of course)… I would say a better word might be “healing.” I think your finale was healing for a lot of people who feel outside or on the fringes, or that their love and their journey is somehow less real or valuable than someone else’s… That it’s somehow less valid. I know quite a few people in that position, who have a lifetime of that on their shoulders, and in one episode of television you both relieved and validated them. That’s healing in my book.”
WHO THE FUCK WROTE THIS I NEED TO GIVE YOU A FUCKING CRYSTAL MEDAL OR SOMETHING
reddit no sleep has the best horror writers, some of them got their stories published into a book, that’s how good they are
OH MY GOD
For those saying they didn’t understand the story, your confusion is the fear factor
Here’s an explanation for the story
#oh my god #look at this #how it starts off with reds and oranges and purples #bright colors #and then it gets continuously darker towards the end #it’s so fitting to the story #and then there is that strip of white at the end #which has to be the king’s cross scene #and it’s just #light #in a dark time #which is extremely beautiful
Every frame of the Harry Potter movies, condensed into a barcode.
you know why theres a white part at the end? because happiness can be found even in the darkest of times
The Harry Potter fandom has officially lost their minds
this makes me uncomfortable
At which Katniss replied to Professor Xavier, “Allons-y!”
As she left her home at 221B Baker Street she jumped into her impala
and called her dad, poseidon, to take her to the yellow brick road
A wonderful animation full of flower symbolism in which a teenage girl cuts her hair short, becomes a crossdresser, and poses as a dude while joining a bunch of guys in an Asian country whose leader is an attractive love interest who doesn’t realize she’s a girl at first until she’s seen partially nude.
kiss kiss defeat the huns
If I could do it over, I would love Dad as much as I love Mom. I wouldn’t decide Mom is the better parent because she lets us eat Pixie Sticks for breakfast while Dad yells when I leave my toys in the living room. I would know there is more to love than skipping school and sneaking candy.
I would tell the social worker the truth, even if it meant Mom might not get custody. I wouldn’t lie and say I’m scared Dad might hit me.
I would tell Dad about everything happening at Mom’s. I wouldn’t feel betrayed when I found out he’d been listening in on Mom’s phone calls, searching for clues. I would know Dad could help Mom if I just told him she passed out behind the wheel again.
I would hug my soon-to-be stepmother instead of hiding her shoes. I wouldn’t tape a long list of ways to get rid of her to the wall of my tree house. I would appreciate that Marla would cook dinner for me when Mom was in rehab and Dad didn’t know how.
I would tell my mother it isn’t fair for her to demand that I never call Marla “Mom.” I wouldn’t hide my cheek with a pillow when Marla tries to kiss me goodnight. I would know Marla would be the only one listening to me when Mom and Dad were too distracted to parent.
If I could do it over, I would sit with my soon-to-be stepsister on the bus when she is nervous for her first day of second grade at a new school. I wouldn’t force Lana to sleep on the floor when we begin to share my room, even though I have a king-sized bed. I would know Lana would be the one to tickle my back in the middle of the night when I missed Mom so much that everything hurts.
I would recognize what a gift it is to have Dad wash the sand off my toes during getaways at the beach. I wouldn’t be so angry with him for taking us away from Mom. I would know Mom is too stoned to parent.
I would call Dad when I find mom passed out in her closet next to a bottle of spilled pills. I wouldn’t clean them up or place that blanket over her without telling anyone. I would know that everybody needs help.
I wouldn’t wish that Dad, not Mom, was the one to crash the car into a telephone pole.
I wouldn’t think the wrong parent died when they pulled the plug on Mom’s life support.
I would tell Dad I’m confused when my brother tells me he woke up to the sound of Mom’s boyfriend slamming her head into a dresser the night she died. I wouldn’t go mute for six months because I don’t know how to ask Dad, or anyone, about it. I would know there is more to the story of how Mom died.
I would say, “I love you, too” every time Marla says it first. I wouldn’t avert my eyes and run down the driveway when she sends me to the bus stop with a brown-bag lunch and an I Love You. I would know that, starting when I turn twelve, I will write Marla’s wisdoms down in a tiny yellow notebook and store it in my sock drawer.
I would circle ‘yes’ on the ‘will you go out with me?’ note Greg Warren passes to Lana in Mrs. Iraggi’s fifth class. I wouldn’t start the rumor that Lana smells bad when I hear Greg likes her. I would know that when I have my first break-up at sixteen, Lana will build a roaring fire in our backyard for me to burn all of Marc Flynn’s pictures in.
I would listen to Marla when she tells me gently how to be a better daughter to her and a better sister to Lana. I wouldn’t tell her you’re not my mother or I don’t care about you or your kids. I would know how lucky I am to have her.
I would let Dad console me when he tells me Mom’s drug addiction is what really killed her. I wouldn’t lock myself in my room and cry alone. I would know how good a hug from him would feel.
I would kiss Marla’s convex belly when Dad says they are having a baby. I wouldn’t keep so quiet as my eyes fill up with tears and my heart fills up with love. I would know my love for Kate will be so full and abundant that it will spill over onto Dad and Marla and Lana, too.
I would tell Dad, and Marla, and Lana that I love them the second I am ready. I wouldn’t let my pride deprive them of that. I would know that they are the ones lifting me up all this time.
Even though I don’t deserve it.
If I could do it over, I would apologize for not saying it sooner when I finally muster an, “I love you, too.” I wouldn’t be so cavalier about doing it while signing off a family Skype conversation from my college dorm room. I would know that today, eight years later, Marla, Lana, and my father are still the most important people in my life.
At least now they know I know it.
A Minimalist, Maximally Imaginative Geometric Allegory for the Essence of Friendship and Creativity - Wednesday by Anne Bertier
What a circle and a square can teach us about empathy, collaboration, and the origin of great ideas.
One of the cutest abstract minimalist storybook I've ever seen & I wanna get a copy of it bc sheer cuteness
"MAN THIS STORY I’M WRITING IS GONNA BE SO GOOD I’M SO PUMPED"
"I CAN’T WAIT TO DEVELOP THE SHIT OUT OF THESE CHARACTERS"
"HOT DAMN THAT ONE SCENE NEAR THE MIDDLE IS GONNA BE BITCHIN’"
"THIS PLOT TWIST IS THE SINGLE BEST IDEA I’VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE"
~one hour later~
My life. My life right now.
can a ghost and a zombie come from the same person
Is this a comic? This should be a comic.
"no stupid, oh my god. no just… just turn… fuck. don’t wander overthere, you’re gonna fall down the… aaand there he goes………….. moron.”
Storium is an online storytelling game that allows players to create a story through a series of scenes, reacting to obstacles and people as you come across them. It’s played with 3 people, with one person playing as the Narrator, and the other 2 playing as the characters.
The Narrator chooses the world that the story is set in (with choices such as ‘occult pop horror’, ‘medical drama’ and ‘cyberpunk’), then starts each scene, using cards to give the players challenges to overcome. The players will then try to overcome these challenges as they see fit, progressing the story in fun and interesting ways.
There are a few more rules, but it’s remarkably easy to pick up and isonly limited by your imagination. Storium is a fun and fluid way of storytelling, with players reacting to each other and no-one being fully in control, it can lead to some VERY interesting stories.
Our attempt was an occult pop horror called ‘The Badgers of Doom’, they’re black, they’re white, and they bite! Coming soon to cinemas near you!
"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
"Basically the price of a night on the town!"
"I'd love to help kickstart continued development! And 0 EUR/month really does make fiscal sense too... maybe I'll even get a shirt?" (there will be limited edition shirts for two and other goodies for each supporter as soon as we sold the 200)