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June 03 2015

tumblilluminati:

notblurryface:

davestrider123:

lobster-senpai:

davestrider123:

I freakin love off the wall illuminati theories

“Off the wall”. Vans. Vans off the wall. Vans are also cars. Who drives vans? Creeps. Whos creepy? Slenderman. Slenderman wears a suit, so Natalia Kills would dissaprove. “Natalia Kills” has three A’s in it. a triangle has three sides. This post is illuminati confirmed.

I’m so happy tbh

You just proved it again. “I’m so happy tbh” has 12 letters in it. It also has 4 words. Guess what 12 divided by 4 is? That’s right- it’s 3. A triangle has 3 sides. Checkmate. Illuminati confirmed yet again. This is too easy.

yep. its real.

June 02 2015

yoursourwolfisshowing:

slowbro-the-kid:

SO I RUN FRANTICALLY INTO KROGER TO GET KETCHUP BEFORE MY MCNUGGETS GET COLD

AND AS I STAND AT THE SELF CHECK OUT WITH ONLY A JUMBO BOTTLE OF HEINZ TOMATO KETCHUP EVERYONE STARTS FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME LIKE WHAT THE HELL

THEN I REMEMBER IM WEARING THIS SHIRT

image

I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW

In heinzsight you should have checked what you were wearing.

4957 1e4b 500

markruffalo:

yrbff:

*whispers* jonathan limpdicky

(by booksofadam)

This had me cracking up. ‘Lobe’ this!

May 29 2015

What makes a person rich?

if their first name is richard, or if their last name is richmond. then you can call them 'rich' for short if you dont feel like calling them 'dick' 

jk. richness comes from whatever quality a person has the most. doesnt have to be posessions all the time.
Tags: ask.fm rich pun
Reposted bythepunnerycoloredgrayscalearisocoffeeandunicorns

May 27 2015

thatsridicarus

the-lady-of-mirkwood:

dontknowchev:



What a waste of space.

did you just

Reposted bybuffyrulezSarielZombiebrideTiffanyszEveRmademoiselle-introvertShingomurPachadia-antimattereirenaspecific-humorbutterfly94justanothergirllovesweetselinelaelentariexannabellecrispybonesakisameatramentovvaSkydelanviva-salvadoreblueberryeyesmolotovcupcakeszpaqusbitterteethviolethillbansheTiffanysvongoogenparisseratoujoursparismuertooversensitivePorcelainloluforashfaellentilkamole-w-filizanceElmirypytumyoungiesundaysatyraforgetzielonykotlunolielviva-salvadorevauteeprzytulankisoftlyrenanaatrantapotrzaskgefuhlvolltiredeverydayblackheartgirlcoffeebitchfridaysistermajowkamooncatJosettewruchujednostajniepopierdolonymHmZdynamitedlugiwarkoczkillyourdreamlexxiethtwins4everkusiolbiiancaddaniellgorzkiewspomnieniamorelightlucidumintervallumfrenataehowdyjenskull-suturesincompletazaduzonarazmolinsanedreamerterazCeluiQuiEstAimeonebreathlifelesswrednaalluringjasmine-girlbonnieandclydeno-namepalinamiamorjethraazazelczulymordercaredsunrisebobeczekkohakulacrimasembracedyingfordancejezuschytrusKurkaWyluzujgabrysiowaune-raconteuseGirlwithdreamsToshiLeMightyMustachethepunnerymolotovcupcakeKurkaWyluzujshowmetherainbowrelationshitavaritiaZuruicoffeebitchLukasYorkelinelaschaafniktwaznypapilio-mole-w-filizanceMissDeWordecgirljanuarydevilserenitecoloredgrayscaleArvaroToshiweirdscenesinsidethegoldminetbtfwrong-suspectkalesonkrybusniedonaprawieniaMinistrantsarkastycznaRedPennyAnoviscooskianorexianervosacorpuscallosumankinavgploozikersuperkalifragalistodekspialitycznie-kerosinepatrzpodnogifremdeaisolrocygi-chanczekajskaAnneBonnywaco6IseeUpoduszkanatwarzyhumaneraylaKik4sizzy13violinzzsssssuncrubedgifluvsicksincongrevedaivucarfreitagpati2k6saddamEwelscherrytomorrowMrCoffeForstiantyneutrinoSaintomhistoriapaniBDzessikMagoryanswaczynazeszpinakiemhodenkoboldroyalityxxnicciekawegoMrrrukLogHiMamolotovcocktailsosinkolIMSschizaachalielleyoungandstupidpozeczkowasrslykojotekpiehuskapitandziwnyjnnakotficaihuntyoursoulkobietaSukcesucoffeeandunicornsemotionalanorexicszyderaPandaAttackdzisniezasneczarno-bialotuleleladydarknesselentariemadamebutterflyyoungieKocuchxmoshixredheadladyonebreathPrzygnebionaBedikosavorNoWindOnlyQuietnotforgetmespieluhrenherzCarridwenoversensitivefoxgallagherdonjefesofiasCzeskalentilkagingerredheadtentatricekanikaniashydabollabolladrseilzughonigwurmarisomsbq5thSkyblindtextToshioTVKryptonitefrittatensuppea-antimattern0glubibanshefadenbvertheerno-rushbasiaarashfaelmatussalicjaktoraniewrocilazkrainyczarowborsuczyskosecalecornutuumsummerstarviva-salvadoreaisolrosofakantezoraxNemoursblondireloveutionluelovesjackykaatmajkeyescojustanothergirlollikarilisiaatramentovvaQueenOfSharksmstrzlost-in-spaceschottladenschlachtoroskattlucidumintervallumaciahoseannaune-raconteuseVarjoaValkyriedieselmowerpnkposzukiwaszjokelchupacabramikeydelsargonlady-fraserpmgwronekundoneePunkroccocciuellajakniejaktakp856siostraathalisgieeradeidyllaspinatlasagneunsuccessful-abortionMissySleepymatatjahu93motyla-nogarichardthefemerydalubisztosukoagravaineSublislania705yourswayseroMojeZwojeKoregetstonedelinelaMissDeWordekaatshowmetherainbowjethraninjamonkeyKocuchdontforgetmekasiularunekSuckMyDickankinxalanakareninaessperergingerredheadzupacebulowamiserylacrimasnikellinekejcior21Luna12thenatussMeeresbrautniklashbeliveinmereloveutionsynapsenfehlersadnessdoveanuszka

superopinionated:

kissed-by-the-fallen-angel:

just-shower-thoughts:

If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday it could also be known as “2’s Day”

image
image

DUDE

Get ready everyone.

Reposted bythepunnerymstrzkartoNikzembatapralinan-nudelsalatflubbBattlecake

May 24 2015

Things French parents say to their kids

nope-not-true:

When we forget to turn off a light:
C’est pas Versailles ici !
Hey, we’re not in Versailles !

When we stand between them and something they want to see:
Et ton père, il est vitrier ?
Is your father a glazier?


nous-les-cancres:

When you are hungry but the dinner is not ready yet

Ben mange ta main et garde l’autre pour demain !
Well, eat your hand and save the other one for tomorrow !

jadisjavaisuncoeur:

What’s for dinner ?
Des caillous.
Pebbles.

When you lie too obviously :
Et mon cul c’est du poulet.
And my ass is made of chicken.

ewnor:

When you are in a bad mood :
Mange des carottes, ça rend aimable.
Eat some carrots, you’ll be nicer

When you are throwing a tantrum :
Pleure un coup, tu pisseras moins.
Go on and cry, you’ll piss less.

ambrena:

And the world wonders why we are so sassy.

----

jaimetalangue:

languagethings:

serre-la-lumiere:

perfectlysporadiccycle:

welcome to the French language where tantôt means “earlier” AND “later”

And where tiédir means “to cool off” and “to warm up”

also when I found out  that tout à l'heure can mean both ‘a moment ago’ and ‘in a moment’. 

I’d add that tantôt and tout à l’heure are pretty synonyms? but Belgian people use tantôt all the time whereas the French use tout à l’heure (it’s not 100% acurate but it reflects my French language experience so far haha)

Reposted bykoreanizm koreanizm

May 19 2015

thatsridicarus
thatsridicarus
thatsridicarus
4449 a348

julianf-casablancas:

Short Strokes

NIKOLAI LOOKS LIKE COCONUT HEAD FROM NED'S DECLASSIFIED SCHOOL SURVIVAL GUIDE.
also, Fabu-chan kawaii.

insomniacflaaffy:

lizerd-wizerd:

I FOUND OUT WHY GORILLAZ IS CALLED GORILLAZ

A GROUP OF GORILLAS IS CALLED A BAND

IT’S BEEN A PUN THIS WHOLE TIME AND NOBODY NOTICED

fUCK


Reposted byTiffanysdonjefeKryptonitefrittatensuppeshampainschaafmolotovcupcakeg33kyhappymeallefuestrachanmrymrumrunoxeoAnoviscoambassadorofdumbwaitingfortheguideschottladenthtwins4evermonkeyheadAnalAssassinMissDeWordeapatycznakoniszpaqusjosephineloozikerkoskossteijakoolSaintomriceballmkaynoablindtextpuszkamakrosMarconcrispybonesJagotenchickenpantsQudacibluevalentineonceagaindoublegjScalluscoernelshitty-lovetelulejtekolecukierekkissedbyfiresasorizanokopidzynpartyhardorgtfoMagoryan

May 11 2015

thatsridicarus
thatsridicarus
1524 1d08 500

useless-swedenfacts:

swenglish humor. bro means bridge in swedish.

Reposted byFreXxXPaseroVirusdanielbohrermacielsonatorthepunneryKik4sbziumandrewmylesanonimowawithmyheadinspacePsaikomatussTullfrogdzaspyBlind-jellyfishschottladenchickenpantsveezMeeresbrautpidzyn

May 07 2015

thatsridicarus
iguanamouth:
Anonymous asked: You should draw a puma wearing puma shoes.
kovu1997:

renee-wolf:

pizzaotter:

I fucking lost it here

😂😂

Yes just yes! lol
Reposted bythepunnerycomicsanonimowakamlotmonkeyvaultschottladenfrogaholicghalbadiousmatusszatoraLoVciucoloredgrayscalekuroinekochrisavaritia

May 06 2015

thatsridicarus
5363 c9da 500
Started talking about a pilot named May Day, and a typo caused us to talk about food like pulut panggang & swedish meatballs instead. we honestly need to make our indie cooking show

April 24 2015

thatsridicarus

lilyredneck:

dut-dut-goose:

queenofferrets:

juzanotherblog:

new bra from victoria secret! :) 

A woman stands in her bedroom. She is with her attractive male lover. The air is filled with desire. They both look into each other’s eyes. The female, with a slightly bashful smile, takes off her clothes, starting with the pants first, and finally the shirt. She is wearing the bra. The man’s eyes opened wider in interest. His interest is peaked. The woman strutted closer to him, her eyes batting and her smile growing. She leans into his ear and with a breathy voice, she spoke:

“Lettuce fuck.” 

I graduate in three days, I pay my own bills, I have a car, and I’m reading fanfiction about a lettuce bra.

It has a little lettuce bow.

Reposted bymondkroetevogelSmigolsuczniktomekwsofiasovtzaverdantforcesereniteJaanis93glupiasukaloozikercoffeeandunicornsmakrosthornatmonkeyvaultwaco6schaafthepunneryavaritialordofdragonssKik4sinzyniermstrzPstrykZuruimolotovcupcakemonsieurgateaucoloredgrayscalecarfreitagradaetykimichalkoziolvoyddiviliwqiamawinrarmatussdanielbohrerStadtgespenstarisonaichakmonidesbiauekPachadischlachtorosvairalubispinatlasagneFlypnannebananne

April 23 2015

joshpeck:

somethingaboutaredsweater:

flanoirbunny:

cafrerinezetajones:

walmart-dop-com:

i hate when men complain about women’s body hair, even like the fine hair on their backs. go fuck a shark if you wanna have sex with something hairless

#shark skin is actually covered in tiny barbs #aka teeth #they are literally a swimming tooth I suddenly have the urge to grate cheese on a great white

wouldn’t that make the shark a

grate white

This post got weird

the post is about fucking sharks it was weird to begin with

Reposted bythepunneryKik4sjosephine

April 21 2015

thatsridicarus
2518 6b8f

thepigeongazette:

My brother’s a jerk. 

The Pigeon Gazette [tumblr | twitter]

Reposted byretnutellathepunneryStagekrybusdeepfrozenpizzapieprymitivefadenbgabormacielsonatorskillzmcflyszabatowaJaanis93hrabiapawelvolldostTullfroggodcake2093m303Arkelanfallpulczynski

April 12 2015

jaclcfrost:

jaclcfrost:

one of my main nicknames courtesy of my family is “emmy” and my uncle was like “what if you marry a guy named anthony whose nickname is tony then you’d be emmy and tony” 

and then “what if his last name was award”

and then my cousin put in “if you have a son you could name him oscar”

emmy, tony, and oscar award

image

oh my god

internet-the-explorer:

sell oscar to leonardo dicaprio

kxmiii:

Do not sell ur children

darling-highness:

you’re right

rent them


Reposted bySmigolKik4sthepunneryTullfrogsaureusMissDeWorde

April 08 2015

thatsridicarus

captaindibbzy:

piratical-princess:

How is it that I’ve lived in Hawaii for nine years, been learning Hawaiian words and speaking pidgin back to my local friends for nine years, know how to say significantly more complex Hawaiian phrases, and yet I had to turn over a Puna Brewing Company bottle cap to find out that Lilo means “lost”?

image

And now my heart is busted.

I just added this to my queue and then I had to go in and find it again cause I had a thought.

Lilo and Stitch.

Lost and pulled together. 

Reposted bymolotovcupcakecellthepunnerykuroinekochrisnutellajawn-palacefrittatensuppeTullfrogmynniajanuaryMissDeWordeJagotenavgpizik21equililQudacilunadeplataKurkaWyluzujzycienakrawedziankinadmngingerredheadxxqqzzaa
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