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"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
I freakin love off the wall illuminati theories
“Off the wall”. Vans. Vans off the wall. Vans are also cars. Who drives vans? Creeps. Whos creepy? Slenderman. Slenderman wears a suit, so Natalia Kills would dissaprove. “Natalia Kills” has three A’s in it. a triangle has three sides. This post is illuminati confirmed.
I’m so happy tbh
You just proved it again. “I’m so happy tbh” has 12 letters in it. It also has 4 words. Guess what 12 divided by 4 is? That’s right- it’s 3. A triangle has 3 sides. Checkmate. Illuminati confirmed yet again. This is too easy.
yep. its real.
SO I RUN FRANTICALLY INTO KROGER TO GET KETCHUP BEFORE MY MCNUGGETS GET COLD
AND AS I STAND AT THE SELF CHECK OUT WITH ONLY A JUMBO BOTTLE OF HEINZ TOMATO KETCHUP EVERYONE STARTS FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME LIKE WHAT THE HELL
THEN I REMEMBER IM WEARING THIS SHIRT
I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW
In heinzsight you should have checked what you were wearing.
When we forget to turn off a light:
C’est pas Versailles ici !
Hey, we’re not in Versailles !
When we stand between them and something they want to see:
Et ton père, il est vitrier ?
Is your father a glazier?
When you are hungry but the dinner is not ready yet
Ben mange ta main et garde l’autre pour demain !
Well, eat your hand and save the other one for tomorrow !
What’s for dinner ?
When you lie too obviously :
Et mon cul c’est du poulet.
And my ass is made of chicken.
When you are in a bad mood :
Mange des carottes, ça rend aimable.
Eat some carrots, you’ll be nicer
When you are throwing a tantrum :
Pleure un coup, tu pisseras moins.
Go on and cry, you’ll piss less.
And the world wonders why we are so sassy.
welcome to the French language where tantôt means “earlier” AND “later”
And where tiédir means “to cool off” and “to warm up”
also when I found out that tout à l'heure can mean both ‘a moment ago’ and ‘in a moment’.
I’d add that tantôt and tout à l’heure are pretty synonyms? but Belgian people use tantôt all the time whereas the French use tout à l’heure (it’s not 100% acurate but it reflects my French language experience so far haha)
new bra from victoria secret! :)
A woman stands in her bedroom. She is with her attractive male lover. The air is filled with desire. They both look into each other’s eyes. The female, with a slightly bashful smile, takes off her clothes, starting with the pants first, and finally the shirt. She is wearing the bra. The man’s eyes opened wider in interest. His interest is peaked. The woman strutted closer to him, her eyes batting and her smile growing. She leans into his ear and with a breathy voice, she spoke:
I graduate in three days, I pay my own bills, I have a car, and I’m reading fanfiction about a lettuce bra.
It has a little lettuce bow.
#shark skin is actually covered in tiny barbs #aka teeth #they are literally a swimming tooth I suddenly have the urge to grate cheese on a great white
i hate when men complain about women’s body hair, even like the fine hair on their backs. go fuck a shark if you wanna have sex with something hairless
wouldn’t that make the shark a
This post got weird
the post is about fucking sharks it was weird to begin with
one of my main nicknames courtesy of my family is “emmy” and my uncle was like “what if you marry a guy named anthony whose nickname is tony then you’d be emmy and tony”
and then “what if his last name was award”
and then my cousin put in “if you have a son you could name him oscar”
emmy, tony, and oscar award
oh my god
sell oscar to leonardo dicaprio
Do not sell ur children
How is it that I’ve lived in Hawaii for nine years, been learning Hawaiian words and speaking pidgin back to my local friends for nine years, know how to say significantly more complex Hawaiian phrases, and yet I had to turn over a Puna Brewing Company bottle cap to find out that Lilo means “lost”?
And now my heart is busted.
I just added this to my queue and then I had to go in and find it again cause I had a thought.
Lilo and Stitch.
Lost and pulled together.
"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
"Basically the price of a night on the town!"
"I'd love to help kickstart continued development! And 0 EUR/month really does make fiscal sense too... maybe I'll even get a shirt?" (there will be limited edition shirts for two and other goodies for each supporter as soon as we sold the 200)