Tumblelog by Soup.io
Newer posts are loading.
You are at the newest post.
Click here to check if anything new just came in.

July 10 2015

almostcommunist:

when you find a really good alternative universe fanfiction

image

July 08 2015

a hilarious joke

wingscanspeak:

spookweedeveryday:

tanku:

three cats are competing in a race. there’s an american cat named “one two three”, a german cat named “ein zwei drei”, and a french cat named “un deux trois”. the cats all swim across a lake. the american cat finishes first, the german cat finishes second, but the french cat is nowhere to be found.

why?

because the un deux trois quatre cinq

IM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS JOKE IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IT I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU 

EXPLAIN

Reposted fromchameleonlady chameleonlady
thatsridicarus

July 07 2015

the-boy-with-the-kaiju-tattoos:

illkim:

when you hold a boy’s dick you hold all of their power. they are powerless. you can either give them an orgasm or destroy them.

You could finish him or finish him

Reposted fromSilverMoonKat SilverMoonKat

July 03 2015

4687 5331

herpmydong:

ultraw4nk:

aragaki-ayase:

why is there a fucking tomato in the train

because its the subway

fuck you

Reposted fromovariesoftime ovariesoftime

June 30 2015

"Wow you’re right, he is big!”

Me: So minions are supposed to work for the worst villain ever, right?
Friend: Yeah.
Me: Well.... they're working for Hollywood now. I'd say their mission's been accomplished.
Friend: FUCK!!
Reposted byTrollowniathepunnery

June 29 2015

June 28 2015

One day a woman had 100 children

alpacas-with-flowercrowns:

wolf-and-kitten:

the-bored-cat:

She sadly did not have the creativity to name all of them unique names so she named each one a number from 1-100. One of them was named “one”, the next was “two” and so on all the way to one hundred. But, in a tragic accident, 99 of the children died. The only one who survived was the one named “Ninety”. Ninety eventually grew up and lived a whole life and she even had a few children of her own. One day, while Ninety’s children were playing outside, they stumbled upon a stray dog and the decided to keep it. Ninety did not want the children to have a dog so they hid it and named it “This” so that they could talk about it around their mom without her knowing. They would say “Lets go take This outside.” and things like that behind their mom’s back. One day, while Ninety’s children were not paying attention, This walks out into the middle of the street and gets hit by a car. This eventually dies and Ninety’s kids don’t tell their mother even then. No one else ever hears about This ever again.

Only Ninety’s Kids remember This.

OMG

How dare you make me read this with my own two eyes

Reposted bythepunneryblogmeertropfenrepluggedarisocarlandlouisesofast

June 23 2015

thatsridicarus
6340 07c8 500

atomic-manifesto:

nietzschean-smile:

atomic-manifesto

The all steeping eye.

I’M SPEECHLESS.

June 17 2015

cakebutt:

deerstalkingdeathfrisbee:

hamanners:

mankanfuckyou:

mankanfuckyou:

a sitcom about a stoner and a pansexual sharing an apartment called “pots and pans”

the running gag is that they actually have no pots or pans in their apartment and they’re always having to find creative ways to cook things

Someone call CBS

They live across the hall from the pansexual and the asexual from “All or Nothing”

i need it

Reposted fromitsrevydutch itsrevydutch

June 14 2015

thatsridicarus
4364 8010 500

obviousplant:

Renamed paint colors.

Reposted byHmZZurui

June 12 2015

June 04 2015

thatsridicarus
0917 f77f

nappyheadet-ho-ho-hoes:

nice eyebrows? more like eye-bros

Reposted bythepunneryemciudeepfrozenpizzapiexiumin
3104 9966

apitnobaka:

mrsweasley:

I am crying

OH MY GOD BAHAHA

Reposted fromkilljill killjill

June 03 2015

tumblilluminati:

notblurryface:

davestrider123:

lobster-senpai:

davestrider123:

I freakin love off the wall illuminati theories

“Off the wall”. Vans. Vans off the wall. Vans are also cars. Who drives vans? Creeps. Whos creepy? Slenderman. Slenderman wears a suit, so Natalia Kills would dissaprove. “Natalia Kills” has three A’s in it. a triangle has three sides. This post is illuminati confirmed.

I’m so happy tbh

You just proved it again. “I’m so happy tbh” has 12 letters in it. It also has 4 words. Guess what 12 divided by 4 is? That’s right- it’s 3. A triangle has 3 sides. Checkmate. Illuminati confirmed yet again. This is too easy.

yep. its real.

June 02 2015

yoursourwolfisshowing:

slowbro-the-kid:

SO I RUN FRANTICALLY INTO KROGER TO GET KETCHUP BEFORE MY MCNUGGETS GET COLD

AND AS I STAND AT THE SELF CHECK OUT WITH ONLY A JUMBO BOTTLE OF HEINZ TOMATO KETCHUP EVERYONE STARTS FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME LIKE WHAT THE HELL

THEN I REMEMBER IM WEARING THIS SHIRT

image

I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW

In heinzsight you should have checked what you were wearing.

4957 1e4b 500

markruffalo:

yrbff:

*whispers* jonathan limpdicky

(by booksofadam)

This had me cracking up. ‘Lobe’ this!

May 29 2015

What makes a person rich?

if their first name is richard, or if their last name is richmond. then you can call them 'rich' for short if you dont feel like calling them 'dick' 

jk. richness comes from whatever quality a person has the most. doesnt have to be posessions all the time.
Tags: ask.fm rich pun
Reposted bythepunnerycoloredgrayscalearisocoffeeandunicorns
Older posts are this way If this message doesn't go away, click anywhere on the page to continue loading posts.
Could not load more posts
Maybe Soup is currently being updated? I'll try again automatically in a few seconds...
Just a second, loading more posts...
You've reached the end.

Don't be the product, buy the product!

Schweinderl