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April 22 2017

9791 0274 500

puppylovesquared:

dennys:

When life gives you lemons, combine their DNA with a prehistoric mosquito that was preserved in amber and create the Tyrannosourest Rex.

It’s been a while since dennys got me to say what the fresh fuck

Reposted fromjustmethatsall justmethatsall

April 09 2017

thatsridicarus
4574 7d2e
having a serious talk about friendship and maturity with a friend and he just had to say "we're nicer dicks" so i just had to bust some dick puns

a reminder that I'm 25 and he's 27.

April 02 2017

thatsridicarus
thatsridicarus

April 01 2017

thatsridicarus
turned a pre-sleep thought into flat design
Reposted bythepunnery thepunnery

July 10 2015

almostcommunist:

when you find a really good alternative universe fanfiction

image

July 08 2015

a hilarious joke

wingscanspeak:

spookweedeveryday:

tanku:

three cats are competing in a race. there’s an american cat named “one two three”, a german cat named “ein zwei drei”, and a french cat named “un deux trois”. the cats all swim across a lake. the american cat finishes first, the german cat finishes second, but the french cat is nowhere to be found.

why?

because the un deux trois quatre cinq

IM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS JOKE IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IT I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU 

EXPLAIN

Reposted fromchameleonlady chameleonlady
thatsridicarus

July 07 2015

the-boy-with-the-kaiju-tattoos:

illkim:

when you hold a boy’s dick you hold all of their power. they are powerless. you can either give them an orgasm or destroy them.

You could finish him or finish him

Reposted fromSilverMoonKat SilverMoonKat

July 03 2015

4687 5331

herpmydong:

ultraw4nk:

aragaki-ayase:

why is there a fucking tomato in the train

because its the subway

fuck you

Reposted fromovariesoftime ovariesoftime

June 30 2015

"Wow you’re right, he is big!”

Me: So minions are supposed to work for the worst villain ever, right?
Friend: Yeah.
Me: Well.... they're working for Hollywood now. I'd say their mission's been accomplished.
Friend: FUCK!!
Reposted byTrollowniathepunnery

June 29 2015

June 28 2015

One day a woman had 100 children

alpacas-with-flowercrowns:

wolf-and-kitten:

the-bored-cat:

She sadly did not have the creativity to name all of them unique names so she named each one a number from 1-100. One of them was named “one”, the next was “two” and so on all the way to one hundred. But, in a tragic accident, 99 of the children died. The only one who survived was the one named “Ninety”. Ninety eventually grew up and lived a whole life and she even had a few children of her own. One day, while Ninety’s children were playing outside, they stumbled upon a stray dog and the decided to keep it. Ninety did not want the children to have a dog so they hid it and named it “This” so that they could talk about it around their mom without her knowing. They would say “Lets go take This outside.” and things like that behind their mom’s back. One day, while Ninety’s children were not paying attention, This walks out into the middle of the street and gets hit by a car. This eventually dies and Ninety’s kids don’t tell their mother even then. No one else ever hears about This ever again.

Only Ninety’s Kids remember This.

OMG

How dare you make me read this with my own two eyes

Reposted bythepunneryc-zrepluggedarisocarlandlouisesofast

June 23 2015

thatsridicarus
6340 07c8 500

atomic-manifesto:

nietzschean-smile:

atomic-manifesto

The all steeping eye.

I’M SPEECHLESS.

June 17 2015

cakebutt:

deerstalkingdeathfrisbee:

hamanners:

mankanfuckyou:

mankanfuckyou:

a sitcom about a stoner and a pansexual sharing an apartment called “pots and pans”

the running gag is that they actually have no pots or pans in their apartment and they’re always having to find creative ways to cook things

Someone call CBS

They live across the hall from the pansexual and the asexual from “All or Nothing”

i need it

Reposted fromitsrevydutch itsrevydutch

June 14 2015

thatsridicarus
4364 8010 500

obviousplant:

Renamed paint colors.

Reposted byHmZZurui

June 12 2015

June 04 2015

thatsridicarus
0917 f77f

nappyheadet-ho-ho-hoes:

nice eyebrows? more like eye-bros

Reposted bythepunneryemciudeepfrozenpizzapiexiumin
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