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"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
Why I Will Never Respect Meghan Trainor
You have manipulated thousands of adolescent teenagers into a twisted ideology of positive body image, and what’s worse is that I don’t think you even know you in are in the wrong. I do believe that you have a good, kind heart- I really do. However, I believe you are grossly misinformed and confused about your own image, and because of that, you should not be a symbol of positive self-image for women of any age.
Your fame is based off of your promotion of the idea that every female is beautiful in her own way- a belief that I have as well. The difference is that I don’t promote the idea that being curvy is necessarily better than being thin. You have degraded petite females to get further on your path to fame, and further skewed the concept of “positive body image.”
Any revenue you have collected from your song “All About That Bass” is dirty money, and you should be embarrassed as to how you “earned” that money.
At first listen, your song is about self-confidence and self-acceptance. Both of these concepts desperately need promotion in young America, as over 75% of women between the ages of 15 and 17 admit to participating in self-destructive behavior as a result of having low self-esteem.
Unfortunately, by the second listen of your song, it is clear you are going about body positivity the wrong way. You say “boys they like a little more booty to hold at night,” which tells your young and confused female listeners that a man’s acknowledgment is important, and the reason they should obtain a certain build. What’s worse is you shame petite frames, and many women have petite frames that they have acquired naturally or through a healthy lifestyle. When you refer to these women as “stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll[s],” you are belittling their lifestyle choices and their own self-image. As if “Barbie” isn’t degrading enough, you went on to call the same category of women “skinny bitches.” Body positivity is not exclusively available to curvy women, and whatever your definition of “bitch”- it is not exclusive to petite women.
Now I will not tell you that every petite woman in the world has obtained that weight naturally. Eating disorders are a serious issue in America, affecting 10 million women and 1 million men nationwide. Unfortunately, you have even managed to degrade those 11 million individuals by making light of their struggle in an interview with Entertainment Tonight. You told interviewers “you were never strong enough to have an eating disorder.” Here is where I would like to stop you, and explain what somehow you have not grasped: you are now glorifying eating disorders, while also shaming petite frames and promoting a curvy frame.
You are a walking contradiction, and I do not respect you or your ideologies.
I am sorry for the young women who will hear your misinformed and offensive view on self-acceptance, and I am sorry especially for the young curvy women who will now seek inappropriate affirmation and attention from their male peers. I am sorry for the young petite women who now believe they are not attractive. Lastly, I am sorry for the individuals that struggle with eating disorders, because society was just starting to grasp the seriousness of such illnesses, and you have now stopped that progression with your thoughtlessness.
You owe the young women in this nation an apology, and I am ashamed that you have become an icon for body positivity in America. You have done nothing but manipulate young minds to further your career.”
Thank you for rejecting my job application to your company.
I have read your application with interest. Because I have received a large number of refusals, I had to make a selection of candidates and I regret to tell you that you are not part of this group.
Despite your qualities and experience in rejecting job applicants, I must inform you your refusal does not meet my profile for this position.
For this reason, I am notifying you I will start working for your company effective immediately. I am looking forward to a prosperous collaboration.
I wish you all the best in rejecting future applicants.
If I could do it over, I would love Dad as much as I love Mom. I wouldn’t decide Mom is the better parent because she lets us eat Pixie Sticks for breakfast while Dad yells when I leave my toys in the living room. I would know there is more to love than skipping school and sneaking candy.
I would tell the social worker the truth, even if it meant Mom might not get custody. I wouldn’t lie and say I’m scared Dad might hit me.
I would tell Dad about everything happening at Mom’s. I wouldn’t feel betrayed when I found out he’d been listening in on Mom’s phone calls, searching for clues. I would know Dad could help Mom if I just told him she passed out behind the wheel again.
I would hug my soon-to-be stepmother instead of hiding her shoes. I wouldn’t tape a long list of ways to get rid of her to the wall of my tree house. I would appreciate that Marla would cook dinner for me when Mom was in rehab and Dad didn’t know how.
I would tell my mother it isn’t fair for her to demand that I never call Marla “Mom.” I wouldn’t hide my cheek with a pillow when Marla tries to kiss me goodnight. I would know Marla would be the only one listening to me when Mom and Dad were too distracted to parent.
If I could do it over, I would sit with my soon-to-be stepsister on the bus when she is nervous for her first day of second grade at a new school. I wouldn’t force Lana to sleep on the floor when we begin to share my room, even though I have a king-sized bed. I would know Lana would be the one to tickle my back in the middle of the night when I missed Mom so much that everything hurts.
I would recognize what a gift it is to have Dad wash the sand off my toes during getaways at the beach. I wouldn’t be so angry with him for taking us away from Mom. I would know Mom is too stoned to parent.
I would call Dad when I find mom passed out in her closet next to a bottle of spilled pills. I wouldn’t clean them up or place that blanket over her without telling anyone. I would know that everybody needs help.
I wouldn’t wish that Dad, not Mom, was the one to crash the car into a telephone pole.
I wouldn’t think the wrong parent died when they pulled the plug on Mom’s life support.
I would tell Dad I’m confused when my brother tells me he woke up to the sound of Mom’s boyfriend slamming her head into a dresser the night she died. I wouldn’t go mute for six months because I don’t know how to ask Dad, or anyone, about it. I would know there is more to the story of how Mom died.
I would say, “I love you, too” every time Marla says it first. I wouldn’t avert my eyes and run down the driveway when she sends me to the bus stop with a brown-bag lunch and an I Love You. I would know that, starting when I turn twelve, I will write Marla’s wisdoms down in a tiny yellow notebook and store it in my sock drawer.
I would circle ‘yes’ on the ‘will you go out with me?’ note Greg Warren passes to Lana in Mrs. Iraggi’s fifth class. I wouldn’t start the rumor that Lana smells bad when I hear Greg likes her. I would know that when I have my first break-up at sixteen, Lana will build a roaring fire in our backyard for me to burn all of Marc Flynn’s pictures in.
I would listen to Marla when she tells me gently how to be a better daughter to her and a better sister to Lana. I wouldn’t tell her you’re not my mother or I don’t care about you or your kids. I would know how lucky I am to have her.
I would let Dad console me when he tells me Mom’s drug addiction is what really killed her. I wouldn’t lock myself in my room and cry alone. I would know how good a hug from him would feel.
I would kiss Marla’s convex belly when Dad says they are having a baby. I wouldn’t keep so quiet as my eyes fill up with tears and my heart fills up with love. I would know my love for Kate will be so full and abundant that it will spill over onto Dad and Marla and Lana, too.
I would tell Dad, and Marla, and Lana that I love them the second I am ready. I wouldn’t let my pride deprive them of that. I would know that they are the ones lifting me up all this time.
Even though I don’t deserve it.
If I could do it over, I would apologize for not saying it sooner when I finally muster an, “I love you, too.” I wouldn’t be so cavalier about doing it while signing off a family Skype conversation from my college dorm room. I would know that today, eight years later, Marla, Lana, and my father are still the most important people in my life.
At least now they know I know it.
My anaconda will consider it
My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.
Re: Your Anaconda,
Thank you for your consideration. Please keep my cover letter and resume in your files in case of any future openings. Good luck in all future endeavors.
A bunless hun
"Thor! Give it back!"
"Not unless you tell me whom it’s from."
"How is that any of your business?"
"I know it’s a love letter. Your blush tells all. As your elder I have a duty to be informed of such matters. Has a man captured your heart? Has he touched you? Has his unworthy lips kissed yours, Odin forbid?"
"Thor, why must you torture me with such horrid questions?"
"I take your avoidance as confirmation. But be assured that whoever you’ve fallen for will not love you for long. Once he discovers that you are not a woman but a man in disguise he will hate you. For a man to love you as you are is impossible."
Loki stared at him, speechless. “You…how could you?" he whispered, beginning to cry. “First you disguise yourself as a rather homely woman to spy upon me, then you intrude upon my privacy, steal my letter, and now you say such…such cruel things!" He burst into tears and fled the room.
Thor felt truly horrible. He did not mean to wound so deeply; it had only been half a joke. He looked at the letter, wondering what it was that made Loki, his own secret love, blush so much. Seeing that it was not sealed, he took out the letter and began to read.
If you were the sky, I would be the earth, forever yearning to reach you through mountains and trees, so that perhaps you might, one day, notice the desire within my lonely heart. Yet, the earth can never reach the sky by itself. It is the sky that holds all the power here; it may choose to remain forever beyond reach, or deign to make contact through lightning, which is in your power to create. So would you, Thor, love me, as I love you?
Sorry about the cheesiness. OTL
i like writing kanji and i think it’s cool when they get complicated but this
has no excuse whatsoever to exist
You know, radicals in kanji usually make sense, but you lost me at “moon under a house on the street talks to a horse about kokoro.”
"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
"Basically the price of a night on the town!"
"I'd love to help kickstart continued development! And 0 EUR/month really does make fiscal sense too... maybe I'll even get a shirt?" (there will be limited edition shirts for two and other goodies for each supporter as soon as we sold the 200)