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"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
reasons why the English language sucks: colonel
The more I think about it, the more amazed I am at how immigrants are able to pick up English and the nonexistent pronunciation rules. Shit still confuses me.
why does old english look like shitposting
wuss poppin jimþo
thats a thorn. That little half b half p looking abomination makes the “th” sound.
that says “thiccness”. That IS shitposting
who the fuck discovered time travel in 2017
While there isn’t an abandoned letter called ‘oak’, there’s one called ‘ash’, that ligature (conjoined) ‘a’ and ‘e’ you see in old-ish British English spellings like “hæmorrhage”.
It was originally æsc in Old English (Anglo-Saxon) but still pronounced ‘ash’ or ‘eysh’, according to my Uni tutor, though I never asked how he knew - based on rhyme, maybe, or a private time machine.
There’s another letter, ‘eth’, which is the d with curved crossbarred stem - ð - usually written as plain ’d’ though in reality pronounced like the ‘th’ in ‘with’.
Thus the chief Norse god isn’t Odin but Othin.
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Volstagg the Voluminous, of course, is Ofat…
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three cats are competing in a race. there’s an american cat named “one two three”, a german cat named “ein zwei drei”, and a french cat named “un deux trois”. the cats all swim across a lake. the american cat finishes first, the german cat finishes second, but the french cat is nowhere to be found.
why?
because the un deux trois quatre cinq
IM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS JOKE IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IT I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU
EXPLAIN
Let me know how it goes bro I really wouldn’t mind reading it hishighnessjtFUCKING PREACH TO ME, LET THESE [WHITE] FOLKS KNOW WHERE THEY ‘SLANG’ CAME FROM!!!!!
I’m actually writing a research paper on this
Calling each other “man” originated in the Harlem Renaissance when black musicians, tired of white men always calling them “boy” started calling each OTHER “man”.
As in: “Hey, man, how you doin’?”
Of course, our modern stereotype for the person who says “man” a lot is a white hippie with long hair or a white beatnik in a turtleneck and beret–a look (and movement) that white people stole wholecloth from black people.
“Cool” is another slang word black people created, but I don’t recall the date this one was coined, only that it was always in another phrase that has since been dropped–“cool cat”, as in, a man who is always level-headed, and very suave. ‘Cool’ has since come to be a stand-in word for an aesthetic or overarching style with ephemeral, impossible-to-overtly-state qualities of allure and fascination. Yes, we invented that, too. We invented that word. We gave a definition to the inexplicable sensation of awe some people are able to inspire in others by sheer style.
Unfortunately the word “cool” has also been stolen and our stereotype of a person who uses it a lot is a white boy with a skateboard or surfboard…
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^!!!!!!!
いちご (ichigo) - strawberry
みかん (mikan) - orange
すいか(suika) - watermelon
バナナ(banana) - banana
りんご(ringo) - apple
メロン (meron) - melon
パイナップル (painappuru) - pineapple
レモン (remon) - lemon
ぶどう(budou) - grapes
なし(nashi) - pear
もも(momo) - peach
さくらんぼ(sakuranbo) - cherry
すもも(sumomo) - plum
THIS IS THE MOST COMPELLING ARGUMENT IVE HEARD OKAY IM SATISFIED NOW YOU GOT IT
Imagine the Avengers getting hit with some sort of spell that makes them revert to their first language
and everyone expects to be unable to understand Natasha’s Russian or Thor’s Norse (Allspeak is great but it isn’t his first language according to the spell)
but then Steve starts spouting Irish, because he grew up speaking English in public but his immigrant mother taught him her own language first
Tony speaks either Spanish or Italian, because that’s what his first nannies spoke
and the spell considers ASL a language just as much as any spoken language, so Clint is just signing and making faces at people
and Bruce is just very confused (“Why do you expect me to be speaking a different language? I’m from Ohio.”)
The Vision flying around screaming “ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ONE ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ONE ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ONE ONE ZERO ONE ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE”
A+ for the effort you put in
When we forget to turn off a light:
C’est pas Versailles ici !
Hey, we’re not in Versailles !When we stand between them and something they want to see:
Et ton père, il est vitrier ?
Is your father a glazier?
When you are hungry but the dinner is not ready yet
Ben mange ta main et garde l’autre pour demain !
Well, eat your hand and save the other one for tomorrow !
What’s for dinner ?
Des caillous.
Pebbles.When you lie too obviously :
Et mon cul c’est du poulet.
And my ass is made of chicken.
When you are in a bad mood :
Mange des carottes, ça rend aimable.
Eat some carrots, you’ll be nicerWhen you are throwing a tantrum :
Pleure un coup, tu pisseras moins.
Go on and cry, you’ll piss less.
----And the world wonders why we are so sassy.
welcome to the French language where tantôt means “earlier” AND “later”
And where tiédir means “to cool off” and “to warm up”
also when I found out that tout à l'heure can mean both ‘a moment ago’ and ‘in a moment’.
I’d add that tantôt and tout à l’heure are pretty synonyms? but Belgian people use tantôt all the time whereas the French use tout à l’heure (it’s not 100% acurate but it reflects my French language experience so far haha)
A little presentation on why white people cant say nigga
I’d just like to add that it is not just white people who can’t use the word, it is anyone who is not black. There is a lot of anti-blackness among non-black PoC, don’t let them get away with it.
^
I laughed when I saw this fact but stopped when I saw the explanation…Turkey gained independence when the Ottoman Empire broke up and the new president decreed that Turkish would now be written with the Latin alphabet instead of the Arabic one. Well that would cause problems enough, but breaking ties with the old empire wasn’t the only reason.
Kemal Atatürk wanted to force Turkey’s minorities to assimilate, and of course one good way to do this is through oppression of languages. The Kurds were the most hard-hit - fully 20% of the population spoke Kurdish. Q, W and X were outlawed and several new characters added to fit the Latin alphabet perfectly around the Turkish language - and make it more difficult to write in any other ones.
I’m gonna be perfectly honest here: Turkey isn’t exactly the biggest fan of minority languages. Apparently Article 42 of the Turkish constitution is:
No language other than Turkish shall be taught as a mother tongue to Turkish citizens at any institutions of training or education. Foreign languages to be taught in institutions of training and education and the rules to be followed by schools conducting training and education in a foreign language shall be determined by law. The provisions of international treaties are reserved.
Yeah.
the signs & untranslatable words
this is the only one that’s real
destroy the “german is a scary language” stereotype 2k15
it’s actually a really cute language and kinda funny sometimes like
guinea pig in german literally means “little sea pig” and turtle means “armor toad”
and then instead of saying what’s your name they ask you “how are you called”And “How much clock is it?”
Why does everyone say “house-wife” or “house-husband” when “House-spouse” is not only gender neutral, but also RHYMES?
the prof asks the important questions.
Wait, spouse rhymes with house? I always pronounced it ‘spooze’ in my head /o\ WHY IS YOUR LANGUAGE SO WEIRD, GODDAMMIT!!!
Because English beats up other languages in dark alleys, then rifles through their pockets for loose grammar and spare vocabulary.
"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
"Basically the price of a night on the town!"
"I'd love to help kickstart continued development! And 0 EUR/month really does make fiscal sense too... maybe I'll even get a shirt?" (there will be limited edition shirts for two and other goodies for each supporter as soon as we sold the 200)