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June 08 2015

rikirinka:

yubel-cakes:

stealing-your-soda:

riothrrrley:

gaydisneyprincessofficial:

jokes that will never be funny

  • holocaust jokes
  • fat jokes
  • racist jokes
  • rape jokes
  • transphobic jokes
  • homophobic jokes
  • sexist jokes

jokes that will always be funny

  • “that’s a weird looking dog”
  • mmm whatcha say
  • the audition meme
  • doge 
  • trolling beetles fans
  • dad jokes 

ending long sentences with by fall out boy

Adding to that with Feat. Panic! At the disco

  • Can confirm, am [object]
  • Illuminati jokes
  • Random images captioned “confirmed”
  • Referring to strange animals as Pokémon
  • $100%
  • Wake up America/sheeple
  • “thank u for your contribution”
  • Using the wrong unit of measure
  • None pizza with left beef
Reposted fromfuckyeahgirls fuckyeahgirls

May 19 2015

thatsridicarus

February 16 2015

thatsridicarus

January 22 2015

arcanebrain:

sirdigbey:

sockathans:

jokes about communism aren’t funny unless you share them with everyone

Jokes about communism aren’t funny because they’re basically classless.

Jokes about communism are funny in theory, but not in practice.

Reposted byMalagothfubscattythepunneryTullfrogspecific-humorwonkocattolicoaundsjustanothergirlnaichKurkaWyluzujkerosineshadowfax42aVoXfrittatensuppewrong-suspectc-zSirenensanglemkoveryskacoloredgrayscalestraycatDiviusrbckppgafmalborghettoweselefigara

November 28 2014

thatsridicarus

25 Jokes Thought Up By Kids That Are So Terrible They're Hilarious

(via imgur)

October 16 2014

thatsridicarus

whatapreciouslittlefuckfox:

A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!

Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!

gracediamondsfear:

i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.

dance-in-the-shadows:

God.

My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”

THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.

THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.

it worked, but not before I laughed for days.

fromladytolifter:

I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.

Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.

On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.

pleasantandcain:

Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?

Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?

marionisamuffin:

Story time:

I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”

Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.

Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.

It got better.

Reposted bykocieserceTomred97noelleuncrubedpewukut9-smerfnych-myslipotrzaskzupsonnattalyoneisdarkoneislightdarkwhiteoneolewkawelcometomyheadjas1minemalinowychrusniaklatenightstoriesdeathisjustafeelingsowato-nieistotneIhezalpesymistakapradinaedenpathspaceshipsNogiMialaDoSamegoPieklauseeidreamhottestflame

July 23 2014

thatsridicarus
1319 a5a4

creepsmcpasta:

awkward-fallen-angel:

rustboro-city:

hailhydrangeas:

visual-hana:

comment from a person on youtube whose name i don’t remember.

this is how you make “gay jokes” folks

having two parents of any gender would suck because when u need one of them you’d be like “mom” and the wrong one will reply and you have to go “not you the OTHER one” and thats why if i marry a girl and we have kids she can be mom and i will be optimus prime

optimus prime

Can you imagine the copious amount of dad jokes with a gay couple..

*Shudders*

Reposted bymolotovcupcakereloveutionschaaflogoreaKurkaWyluzujsmall-town-girl

July 18 2014

thatsridicarus

bmore2boston:

Real Life Peter Griffin Nails His Stand Up Comedy Routine #familyguy

PeterGriffin

I’d say he nails it.  Do you think this is a situation where he’s worked on it for a while or it’s something he just fell into?  Like did he have to work on the voice or is it his?  However he did it, I’ll say this, he absolutely killed the outfit.  10 out of 10.

Ps, who the hell are those creepers in the background.  how do you…

View On WordPress

Reposted byfrittatensuppe frittatensuppe

October 28 2013

thatsridicarus
6470 d940 500

fredvicious67:

holy-time-lord-of-gallifrey:

Drake and Josh shaped our generation like I’m 99.99% sure that this show is the reason I’m so sarcastic.

Josh is a cutie patootie!

Reposted bypegasusanne pegasusanne

September 19 2013

thatsridicarus
Frankly, Cow and Chicken DOES contain a lot of hidden adult jokes to begin with.
(via Damn! LOL)
Reposted bynaichkerioLattemakauen

September 13 2013

thatsridicarus

why is peter pan always flying?

he neverlands

I love this joke because it never grows old

It has a nice hook.

This doesn’t make sense. I’m lost, boys…

"beats Smee how you didn't understand that"

"maybe this is why tinkerbell is always fuckin pissed off

— (Source: deppsydoodle)
Reposted bynaichpesymistaevangelynMissDeWordedisappointmentsereniteunsuccessful-abortionCzeskasowathtwins4everthepunneryjosefineanabeewelcometomyheadKik4sluftkissenmixeroopsiakkrybusfrittatensupperatmanicoloredgrayscalegafcellCanadiencoffeeandunicornsmarbearleyrercyronisdareen

February 02 2013

thatsridicarus
Don't give up after s/he dumped you. Keep making ocean jokes. And volcano jokes too.
(via NewsZol)
Reposted byflederrattiecoffeeandunicornscirdanMissDeWordesomeday42logoreasmoke11miskotkaTrollowniaschlachtorosCanadienwalkingchaossoupeterrugiacoerneltowothepunneryfinalpegasusannedrseilzugMinorThreatrinkaaddnowtoherefornowhereMollypascalmhdatingsuppephilmacflyzzuuooDerOrwischerPrzygnebionasurveyorkkr-likthtwins4evercookiesblindtextwulfydiehardbuffSpiderbaitmarvellousmecellvauteenitramsinglewhitemaleswaczynaieffrogaholicMrCoffeminiliebsuppenkasperlfrauenfeindlichsaudeppFranzManunsuccessful-abortionwrite-url-hereredshadowMissPunchlinecallitwhatyouwantbienewhippedcream92timmoebastinat0raffittopetitpapillontymkajbeansmrqdt

August 19 2012

July 24 2012

thatsridicarus

July 07 2012

thatsridicarus
In Capitalist America, bank robs you.
Reposted bymadness69theSilenceAFiksrocknrollqueenadremdico

March 28 2012

thatsridicarus

Ceruleanreaper:

myoo89:

=T

Hey Choco are you looking at this? Next time be more punny with your chocolate wings!

A very punful Icky! :3 Lol Daedalus is pissed.
Reposted bymaraskowaZuruithepunneryfrittatensuppecomicsdecarabiakilljillPorcelainwilczalunazanarathnaichr00skifoxgallagherstraycatCentZeckeSarielschottladenyouamKryptonite

January 21 2012

thatsridicarus
Representing some people from Dare-Me-Emo on dA
Reposted byburakotkacomics

June 21 2011

thatsridicarus
Patient: Doctor, I have a problem
Doctor: Yes?
Patient: It's... about my ejaculation
Doctor: I see. What about it?
Patient: Well... I think it's abnormal. Y'know how other people said normal ejaculation is white and milky and we can control when to or not to ejaculate? Well firstly, my ejaculation is red and pulpy, and it only comes once a month, lasting about 6 days. So... do I have an infection, doc?
Doctor: *facepalm*

Patient: Doctor, doctor, after I hit puberty, instead of my voice cracking or sounding deeper, I got two huge balls hanging onto my chest... is something wrong?
Doctor: *double facepalm*
Tags: doctor jokes

June 13 2011

thatsridicarus
You hear that, boys. And make sure my sandwich has chicken ham in it.
Reposted byTrollownia Trollownia

May 25 2011

thatsridicarus
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