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July 08 2015

a hilarious joke

wingscanspeak:

spookweedeveryday:

tanku:

three cats are competing in a race. there’s an american cat named “one two three”, a german cat named “ein zwei drei”, and a french cat named “un deux trois”. the cats all swim across a lake. the american cat finishes first, the german cat finishes second, but the french cat is nowhere to be found.

why?

because the un deux trois quatre cinq

IM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS JOKE IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IT I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU 

EXPLAIN

Reposted fromchameleonlady chameleonlady

May 24 2015

Things French parents say to their kids

nope-not-true:

When we forget to turn off a light:
C’est pas Versailles ici !
Hey, we’re not in Versailles !

When we stand between them and something they want to see:
Et ton père, il est vitrier ?
Is your father a glazier?


nous-les-cancres:

When you are hungry but the dinner is not ready yet

Ben mange ta main et garde l’autre pour demain !
Well, eat your hand and save the other one for tomorrow !

jadisjavaisuncoeur:

What’s for dinner ?
Des caillous.
Pebbles.

When you lie too obviously :
Et mon cul c’est du poulet.
And my ass is made of chicken.

ewnor:

When you are in a bad mood :
Mange des carottes, ça rend aimable.
Eat some carrots, you’ll be nicer

When you are throwing a tantrum :
Pleure un coup, tu pisseras moins.
Go on and cry, you’ll piss less.

ambrena:

And the world wonders why we are so sassy.

----

jaimetalangue:

languagethings:

serre-la-lumiere:

perfectlysporadiccycle:

welcome to the French language where tantôt means “earlier” AND “later”

And where tiédir means “to cool off” and “to warm up”

also when I found out  that tout à l'heure can mean both ‘a moment ago’ and ‘in a moment’. 

I’d add that tantôt and tout à l’heure are pretty synonyms? but Belgian people use tantôt all the time whereas the French use tout à l’heure (it’s not 100% acurate but it reflects my French language experience so far haha)

Reposted bykoreanizm koreanizm

December 12 2014

loomeen:

cleapatrah:

dylanobylan:

i went to look up coup de foudre (“love at first sight”) but i fucked up

image

i fucked up so much

i didn’t know it was possible to fuck it up this much

image 

i tried to see if it was true and i fucked up even more i’m sorry

This is so beautiful

November 06 2014

thatsridicarus

surprisebitch:

vegan-vulcan:

chad-hunter:

awesomephilia:

strippedtease:

okay BUT LOOK AT THIS FRENCH SUPPLY TEACHER HOLY SHIT

i was gonna repost this for the booty he’s got going on but then i saw the hashtag and now I’m reposting it for that alone.

jesus christ

est-ce que tu aimes le sexe ? le sexe.. je veux dire, l’activité physique.. le coït. tu aimes ça ?

Reposted bykatankaameliabjornrandomuserTUVimBunnyBoosadpornarisonaichliveattherainbowcoloredgrayscalekrybusPachadiechoeswilczaSoulPLbrianmayMySecretGardenbluevalentineonceagainzuupa

September 05 2014

thatsridicarus

Joke of the day.

wanderoar:

roseonabeach:

frostedsammy:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”

“Yes.”
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”

what

Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this

stupidest/most awesome joke ever

Reposted byampileinwalkingchaoshowdyjeniv-viNajakarli2glaizv3bsothepunnerylost-in-spacefhKaroDredjustanothergirlVinroliTullfrogthesilenceofthealcoholicyoungiebealobsterfukurouprincess-carolyncoloredgrayscalero-kokoshadowfax42naichnatexsoulwaxninjamonkeysuperbrainznataliamanaochanarisocongreveapertureantecedentiaPachadiJaanis93phunlolufowronekfrayedendrichardfeynmanDingodoodlmacounlifelessDerOrwischerthrill-killerturionJonaekanikanimusztardaanomaliagnijacamlodapannagingerredheadtediousunclenukotrokotokoreloveutionvertheerhahatTUVimraZeollwandisoberkaszebsoupetersm0k1nggnuflyorflyfallendebilkfiatimrymrumruwilczacorpuscallosumkethralcoloredgrayscalev3bsomiuminatorune-raconteusetutuskusiollolacukiereklesatyrelenka024septemberdolllisiawiedzmaborsuczyskopuremindxrobiwanlavbiedronkakillerjezuschytruswrong-suspectkrimsonredsunriselilaschwarzserenite919jemsalate

August 03 2014

thatsridicarus

slutformisha:

un-feuilly-de-papier:

un-feuilly-de-papier:

What do french people call a really bad thursday?

a trajeudi

update: if you tell this joke to someone living in france they will refuse to look at you

Reposted bythepunneryRekrut-KmkaynoacoloredgrayscaleavaritiaaperturehareinmybrightbyteMissDeWordelubimakrossofiasnaichgingergluenicapicellagruetzeYaterischaafbackebrandstaettermimi07FiriathhairinmymynniakonidesiTokei-Ihtovertheerlubishadowfax42hexxeflubbizzy13violinzzkillerklownshadowfax42

August 02 2014

thatsridicarus
memrise:
Welcome to the basics of English borrowing from French.
Reposted bykaszebpanienkamorganitaschaafambassadorofdumbganzrockbarmegaraabsolutivim-so-retardedkerionaichPedros7v2pxlabellavitakissedbyfirekuroinekochrismetanoizeikarikompotzescierkiollzooziaevangelynwonkozicherkarainbowzombieskilledmyunicornkrybusindieaninJo-lisarugiaMilcatopyzatoramelisaskillzmcflybufstrangemeTullfrogfrittatensuppeVermillioncygi-chanmisspandoraprosiaczekkedhellAnneBonnyMlaskcucaTwininzynierschlachtorosbrightbyteramoneskapatrzpodnogidarksihayatentegodarshanKurkaWyluzujlittle-things-xxautoobdukcjaphilmacflytgsviceerlexipartyhardorgtforandomuserSenyiaAnnaBananalyricast505karolinaanomaliageguhurradeathlyhollowszarlotka76makemewannadiepillsloozikerescoSaper300blyskextrembuntgabryySantheyouarenotyoursoupPachadiniedoskonaloscbesomebodyarrependimentoinsomniahumanstoryBloodyYuki-MaceknablespraesensjuliHigh-KeyHigh-Keyaffiadeniankotficaa-antimatterxmoshixvongoogenmelicaaachikulive-to-ridecukier-wanilinowyT-foxspice-sugarladymartiniunbosomch2terhawakTokei-Ihtowoolowinkagronsakerreox

May 19 2014

thatsridicarus
1335 3aa6 500

dytabytes:

teal-deer:

lenoiretvert:

A lesson in Canada’s bilinguality.
Bilinguisme au Canada: une leçon.

OKAY CHATISFACTION AND FROMIDABLE REMAIN REALLY FUCKING GOOD PUNS

Look: we are really fucking good at puns, okay?

Reposted bymynniamaexdingensMerelyGiftedrepostedfrommakrosgnijacamlodapannathepunnerymolotovcupcakenaichIhezalCanadaEhgehirnfaschingholamasdonutz

May 13 2014

thatsridicarus

March 31 2014

wizard-in-the-tardis:

dayofthefishdoctor:

karemloo:

fuckyeahlukemyernaked:

never forget that for voldemort’s name to rearrange to “je suis voldemort” in the french translations, they had to make his middle name ‘Elvis’

image

I CANT HANDLE THIS

are we just ignoring that wand is called a baguette in french?

the baguette chooses the wizard mr. potter

image

FRENCH

Reposted byhogwartszaganskymusztardaihuntyoursoulininalexidreamONaffiaMySecretGardenbrzoskacocciuellabladzikTiffanysshifffffermrymrumruthingsthatmakesmelaugh1410amaxoxo4waitingfortheguidewilczaknicKnacktoomuchsugar

February 05 2014

August 28 2013

thatsridicarus

I swear, those Tumblr textposts...

So I just found the jackpot, and cuz I'm tired of reposting each and every post as one post, lemme just dump some of them in one go.

apostitutes:

scrappylittlenugget:

apostitutes:

doinels:

my brother found my vibrator

a teenage horror story in one sentence

i found my brothers vibrator

plot twist

(Source: doinels, via pizza)

tvgropes:

(◡‿◡✿)

(◡‿◡✿)

(◡‿◡✿)

(⊙���⊙✿) WAIT I HAD HOMEWORK

(Source: tvgropes, via harukimuracallme)

Well excuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUu se me

(Source: okusuck, via twerker)

pineism:

"your bra strap is showing"

that’s my dick

(Source: pineism, via inspiring)

laptopped:

imagine banana with any other vowel

bununu

benene

bonono

binini

bynyny

(Source: racisrn, via luneclipse)

duff-dickagan:

how do u have sex in the shower like its all slippity wippity so how do u do the hippidity dippidity

(Source: duff-dickagan, via inspiring)

dickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick:

firelorcl:

the-doctors-rose:

getoffmybloghoe:

CAN I GET A HELL YEAH!??

*teacher voice* i dont know, can you?

*sighs* “MAY I get a hell yeah?”

*teacher voice* you should have gotten a hell yeah during the break before class started

BUT I DIDN’T NEED TO HELL YEAH BEFORE

romanoitalia:

arminsbooty:

artlert:

WHAT IF MONEY CAME OUT OF OUR VAGINAS WHEN WE WERE ON OUR PERIODS

I’D BE BLOODY RICH

WAS THAT A PUN?

(Source: artlert, via rojin)


and sometimes, they're just so full of TRUTH.

sherlockedinthetardiswithcrowley:

thepoopqueen:

look at it like this

when a girl gets rejected, she thinks it’s something that she did or did not do, she thinks there’s something wrong withherself that would make a guy not wanna be with her

but when a guy gets rejected, he thinks there’s something wrong with the girl who rejected him, ‘she just wants to date assholes’, ‘she’s a bitch’, so on and so forth

and that’s some bullshit

someone finally said this thank you

(Source: thepoopqueen, via sarahdoushitee)

other times it's just...

michaelpalin:

visual representation of autoplay on someone’s blog

image

(Source: michaelpalin, via sarahdoushitee)

and

castielsconsultingdetective:

whovianletthedaleksout:

r0sekanaya:

nombre means name in spanish but it means number in french

image

"what’s your nombre?"
was I making light conversation in spanish
or was I hitting on you in French

but you said half of that in English

(Source: officialraminkarimloo, via pizza)




Reposted bysiourymymajoknowyourselfgifluvfeminismsephirathvertheerLoVciunaichRekrut-KZuruiriceballschlachtoroscocciuellaVermillionTeereageek4lifewithmyheadinspacewrite-url-hereschottladenollReisagainstmonkeyvaultszaaatanhalsharseelAluAlumonimichelcommendanterazieliniune-raconteuseskillzmcflylost-in-spaceschlachtorosnilsffridgeskillzmcflykokolokojackaloppereloveutiondarthsadicnukotcandicevitaminbpannakojototsanadonQbardefying-gravityemmaleadhardkorweyMissPunchlineTullfrogkrimson

January 22 2013

thatsridicarus

escapekit:

Best Friends

Born in Africa to French wildlife photographer parents, Tippi Degré had a most unusual childhood. The young girl grew up in the African desert and developed an uncommon bond with many untamed animals including a 28-year old African elephant named Abu, a leopard nicknamed J&B, lion cubs, giraffes, an Ostrich, a mongoose, crocodiles, a baby zebra, a cheetah, giant bullfrogs, and even a snake. Africa was her home for many years and Tippi became friends with the ferocious animals and tribespeople of Namibia. As a young child, the French girl said, “I don’t have friends here. Because I never see children. So the animals are my friends.”

(via grettadc)

Reposted byswoopkogsf4m8AMcKlittledinamiss0alexissmutazoskasessitasarisbassclefmotyla-nogaJuggerinsanedreamerbezimiennaosobainscheyidylladarkagoladdnowtoherefornowherehaszraaSevenDevilsturiongabrysiowamisery000boobitruskawkowopimpmyheartrepeat-until-falsepomyloonalossosmadlenaatwojkotlovelipsdesirtiganaidzikoniim-so-retardedEctopiaRayawondrousplaceKabriolettaallinoneradaetykimaniulaninjacoderpochlaniaczksiazekthorbenNytemayrJosePhinsuseuunenlaaakso-A-van-Garda-insanelifekrimsonpf3ffitoveDaggeroftheMindMynameisClarastragan-ze-snamitheGeekbisiaNathanaeuifzumanjakAnoviscosleeplessdiaryamalteraznotatkinaherbacianympapierzeRudadredkawarkoczaaashleyfridaysisterKotokoconndaraybutterfly1alex0jasmynTomred97ulaabsolemmezzanineBincsmininadenianbuttscratcherbigcatschillshexxewhite-ravenduszAluslawinsomniabloggingneralalemamba1vardiapytqxannhappykokeshimatusskaptoprilkarola-230kociolekvogeltimecodephantasmagoriatheothersideylem235pelikan18KudlatyBluesdumnaperfectguyreloveutionwindingroadslikearollingstonebudaslalunaoutoflovelongpantslongpantsszlafmycagingerredheadneflunadeplatalogorealalunamajkeywiecejniezobaczyszimmuffbananowoZuruiezermnrsSpecies5618asiekxpmrymrumrukissedbyfirewormstachemaraskowarudoscifutureiscomingparapapapaimlovingitdotidotcat-a-strophesilmekgadekastrid-annecalvadosnonenonenonenonrdrnothingnessrocknrollqueenmestivzEveREineFragevonStilrenna99sicksinsuperkalifragalistodekspialitycznie-nikamzerocool911konotoriboseycyronisablbeneacemephistofafnirscavekropkirosalieabracadabraaJasiuuukolektywwonderfulnaturerugialmnFiriathdianka66villablaauberzahlsoberxcocainexguniaaaaaafriqueKladderadatschmenphradglupiasukaForeverFailurebirketantechmiel66niewiedzaSarielbaggocgirlsiupciasteczkowaptasheqwilczasokolexiwasdseptemberdollirukandjisyndromegrzypsmichalinaxzEveRstraycatpinggwinjakzwyklesilnieusmarkanaapersonskrzmonimichsucznikLoVciusilviiLittleMissPipedreamslitkaMissDeWordemadamemonroesilence24teijakoolcongrevegrubycygenb0ckkoskossgramtylkodrzewamisiaaasDerOrwischernitroniumionHypothermiakurka0KorejestjuzwiosnapapajoexitorangeschizaaaffiaKotokodaszkamemesjaszampajewskasympatycznysuselapudziesztybeginnerfoxgloveportecreationsmoke11monikalukowskaborsuczyszapertureFoxInShadowSinlessSatanistklapkiniceshotalchemikfrittatensuppemary-jade-bladeprincesssaRavynaSilentPitJoschIsAGeekhalyscircusfalkowskarapsifretkasimpsinatorbaxulmevsiriusminervamakroswongabuhdreadfulltousterrpaulinabofbitchesandbutterfliesparadisoinyouPolindali-la-leniaAccarl7live-lifenikaaaajackszczuplanogawordshakerkayurafiimalinysieskonczylyLemurekRolloLemurekRollo

November 04 2012

thatsridicarus
French Kiss. get it?
view more Punny Pun Costumes on Smosh
Reposted bycellanimapaminaemciukrybusmonimichKryptoniteanosognosiaxannomgunmanburakotkaboladesabaoQudaciTomred97Morgulzombiklordhelmofon

October 17 2012

thatsridicarus
Y U no Speak French?
In Indonesian the pronounciation for w is "weh" so we don't have a problem.
(via Cheezburger)

August 24 2012

April 26 2012

thatsridicarus

November 01 2011

thatsridicarus
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU in different languages
Reposted frompracticaljoke practicaljoke viaZurui Zurui
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