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May 16 2015





scared the shit out of me every time

my dad wants this to be played at the beginning of his funeral

reposting again just for that omg

Reposted byantihecwrtlbrnftSaper300schottladenredneckfadenbvauteemissmadeleinefancy-clapsAronwerhamster

April 18 2015


my dad had a skype interview today so he was sitting in the living room looking all professional in his suit and tie and everything while he’s talking to the people who are interviewing him. and OF COURSE my cat decided that she NEEDED to speak at that moment so she just starts meowing left and right and talking crazy talk to the point where the interviewers just start laughing because she just will NOT shut up. so my dad just kind of sighs, looks at the camera, and goes, “i’m so sorry. i have to ask my cat to leave.” and then he looks over at victoria and very calmly and professionally goes, “victoria, i’m afraid you’re being too loud, and i’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

and she did. she fucking turned and walked out of the living room.

Reposted byeyyy eyyy

March 09 2015

8909 228a



This Man Did Something That’s Already Expected Of Women But He Gets Extra Praise Cause He’s A Man

No. A lot of women don’t go to cosmetology classes to learn how to do hair, they have the experience from growing up-their mom doing their hair, Then experimenting which what they can do themselves. This guy probably had short hair his entire life with no clue on what to do. He didn’t just look up how to do a ponytail, he paid for actual classes so that he could do his little daughters hair in cool and creative ways so that SHE gets the learning experience and learns how to do it her own and then can go to school with fabulous. 
This is A+ daddy right here, he went above and beyond because he knows that he lack in certain areas where a mom would pick this up. Please don’t destroy nice things that men do simply because they are men and you want to hate them.

Reposted byshikajiAnna-HexeHigh-KeymolotovcupcakeTiffanysschaafkattdevloquegaabumacounp856zEveR

February 18 2015

7522 98b8 500



I know its kinda long but its def worth the read, i stumbled across it while scrolling down my timeline… 


Reposted bysofeministyouamthealexfeminismSirenensangwoodynook

January 27 2015



my sense of humor: getting birthday cards with the wildly incorrect age on it for people


Reposted byholamasdoannieannspinatlasagnechoreraJaanis93vogelstrzepybrianstormterriblelienatioszkasucznikpanpancernybeltanefrauvermeerkingoslawtishkazatorapankamienpankamienpocheclementiinesKurkaWyluzujArecaSmllescribblernosiemairmelinshadowfax42coffeeandunicornsicantbreathewhovilleDieKleineMynoxeokoskossakisameKryptonitebiauekambassadorofdumbnotnecessarilymakarovambiguousmalborghettohdivertheerlubiininaAboutTodaynordernleniwabulaswaczynacosdziwnegoTrollowniawilczanaichapertureUbiksmoke11mfmfmfFate46boseySenyiaTechnofrikusrashfaelCaptain-Chaoslolufojalokim0IgnitionOnesmoke11crispybonesshitty-lovefafnirscavepeggy90brownskillzmcflyyoungandstupidryskasuperbrainzarisomolotovcupcakev3bsotrumienkamatussvolldostwciurnastek919potockokissalonecomplexswaczynasmall-town-girlsiostraglupotaboliHereNameaddnowtoherefornowherehubikli-la-lenikompromisekfutureiscomingyoannrzekomyDedarelationshitdomciakowska

January 12 2015





i’m home sick with the flu and i just received this email from my father


still Hangin with Yo frienz one year later

Tags: friends dad troll
Reposted byemciuaperturekrybusv3bsoskillzmcflymrpafrugiagaabuelectricityscapecallisia

November 08 2014

If I Could Do It Over

Brianna Wolfson:
If I could do it over, I would love Dad as much as I love Mom. I wouldn’t decide Mom is the better parent because she lets us eat Pixie Sticks for breakfast while Dad yells when I leave my toys in the living room. I would know there is more to love than skipping school and sneaking candy.

I would tell the social worker the truth, even if it meant Mom might not get custody. I wouldn’t lie and say I’m scared Dad might hit me.

I would tell Dad about everything happening at Mom’s. I wouldn’t feel betrayed when I found out he’d been listening in on Mom’s phone calls, searching for clues. I would know Dad could help Mom if I just told him she passed out behind the wheel again.

I would hug my soon-to-be stepmother instead of hiding her shoes. I wouldn’t tape a long list of ways to get rid of her to the wall of my tree house. I would appreciate that Marla would cook dinner for me when Mom was in rehab and Dad didn’t know how.

I would tell my mother it isn’t fair for her to demand that I never call Marla “Mom.” I wouldn’t hide my cheek with a pillow when Marla tries to kiss me goodnight. I would know Marla would be the only one listening to me when Mom and Dad were too distracted to parent.

If I could do it over, I would sit with my soon-to-be stepsister on the bus when she is nervous for her first day of second grade at a new school. I wouldn’t force Lana to sleep on the floor when we begin to share my room, even though I have a king-sized bed. I would know Lana would be the one to tickle my back in the middle of the night when I missed Mom so much that everything hurts.

I would recognize what a gift it is to have Dad wash the sand off my toes during getaways at the beach. I wouldn’t be so angry with him for taking us away from Mom. I would know Mom is too stoned to parent.

I would call Dad when I find mom passed out in her closet next to a bottle of spilled pills. I wouldn’t clean them up or place that blanket over her without telling anyone. I would know that everybody needs help.

I wouldn’t wish that Dad, not Mom, was the one to crash the car into a telephone pole.

I wouldn’t think the wrong parent died when they pulled the plug on Mom’s life support.

I would tell Dad I’m confused when my brother tells me he woke up to the sound of Mom’s boyfriend slamming her head into a dresser the night she died. I wouldn’t go mute for six months because I don’t know how to ask Dad, or anyone, about it. I would know there is more to the story of how Mom died.

I would say, “I love you, too” every time Marla says it first. I wouldn’t avert my eyes and run down the driveway when she sends me to the bus stop with a brown-bag lunch and an I Love You. I would know that, starting when I turn twelve, I will write Marla’s wisdoms down in a tiny yellow notebook and store it in my sock drawer.

I would circle ‘yes’ on the ‘will you go out with me?’ note Greg Warren passes to Lana in Mrs. Iraggi’s fifth class. I wouldn’t start the rumor that Lana smells bad when I hear Greg likes her. I would know that when I have my first break-up at sixteen, Lana will build a roaring fire in our backyard for me to burn all of Marc Flynn’s pictures in.

I would listen to Marla when she tells me gently how to be a better daughter to her and a better sister to Lana. I wouldn’t tell her you’re not my mother or I don’t care about you or your kids. I would know how lucky I am to have her.

I would let Dad console me when he tells me Mom’s drug addiction is what really killed her. I wouldn’t lock myself in my room and cry alone. I would know how good a hug from him would feel.

I would kiss Marla’s convex belly when Dad says they are having a baby. I wouldn’t keep so quiet as my eyes fill up with tears and my heart fills up with love. I would know my love for Kate will be so full and abundant that it will spill over onto Dad and Marla and Lana, too.

I would tell Dad, and Marla, and Lana that I love them the second I am ready. I wouldn’t let my pride deprive them of that. I would know that they are the ones lifting me up all this time.

Even though I don’t deserve it.

If I could do it over, I would apologize for not saying it sooner when I finally muster an, “I love you, too.” I wouldn’t be so cavalier about doing it while signing off a family Skype conversation from my college dorm room. I would know that today, eight years later, Marla, Lana, and my father are still the most important people in my life.

At least now they know I know it.

(Source: Human Parts by Brianna W. on Medium, via Upworthy: What This Girl Did To Her Sister, Father, And Stepmom She Regrets. And Now She Knows.)

October 30 2014

4604 2105


My dad has access to 3D Printing technology and the first thing he prints is a miniature version of himself


you shrunk your dad with a shrink ray and now you’re trying to cover it up with this bullshit.. but we dont believe it for a second


Speaking as someone who is studying 3D printing, I find it highly unlikely that this is actually a printed model. First, most 3D printers cannot print in color, meaning that either he painted this perfectly, with completely realistic colors, or he has access to a machine which can print in photorealistic colors, which would be uncommon and expensive.

Second, making a digital model to print from is not a simple matter of clicking a couple buttons. In order for this to be an accurate model, the guy’s dad would have to be scanned by a laser scanner made for this purpose, a process which would take at least an hour for this level of detail. I doubt that anyone could stand perfectly still for that long.

Third, the level of detail is just too high. You can clearly see crease marks in the pants with no “stepping” effect anywhere, which would require the layer height on the printer to be considerably smaller than the width of those creases. No commercially available printer goes that small that I know of. If one does exist, it would be extremely high-end, costing thousands of dollars.

If he does work for a company that owns a machine capable of making this, I highly doubt they would let him take up hours of valuable machine time, and spend a considerable amount of money on operating costs, on a vanity project.

So yeah, this is just a fairly well-done photoshop. Or a shrink ray accident.


My father was scanned with an Artec Eva scanner and was printed by Europac 3D who provide the same service commercially for ASDA supermarkets who have commenced this service to the general public for £60 per model. His full colour 3D print took 4 hours and utilises the colour collected directly by the Artec scanning system. The same system was used on a number of VFX projects in the film industry by my father including World War Z and the soon to be released Houdini.

You are saying this is not scan data and that this is not 3d printed, my father, who is a 3D data specialist, suggests you change your course to one that is more up-to-date and better informed. It might be a good idea to reserve passing comment until you actually know what you are talking about.


never seen someone get so demolished rip user 



i printed a 2D miniature version of myself the other night using a HP officejet 7610 in B/W imo. i am a young asian teen with qualifications beyond your dreams (huge dong) and aspirations to be the greatest human alive. i am currently unemployed but have applied for 5 jobs in the past week. 2 have already rejected my application but it is ok because i will Keep going until i find a job. i am looking for a girlfriend also


Following back until I find a soup girlfriend



Reposted byskillzmcflymatussaperturemacoun

October 15 2014


October 09 2014

5866 f469


Our family’s been through a lot these past few months, but now that our beautiful baby girl is here, I know Rick will stand up and make our marriage beautiful again. :-) I just know our daughter will grow up to be a strong fighter in the Skeleton War, just like her father.

Reposted bymatusspunisheraperturewicikumozaM3lk0rgiacomo-xkocieserceloluforashfaelgeek4lifewrite-url-hereMoHo3mi1yatrantacataractedhellfoxgallagherihuntyoursoulKurkaWyluzujreloveutionangry-mushroomdysmorfofobiafnk4lubigetstonedlockesaberinkulasCatLovesRicekaktukissalonecomplexeatglitterr

October 05 2014



good cop: it’s okay, just tell us what happened
bad cop: why the hell would you rob a bank? you’re an idiot. see u in court
dad cop: i’m not mad. just disappointed

Reposted byHereNameambassadorofdumbemciuwrite-url-hereschlachtorosaperturecrispybonessuperbrainznaichWasconkrybusladykenobiStadtgespenstv3bsoidl3xh0p3cygi-chanlexiSenyiashadowfax42anonimowaconnlasair

August 19 2014


Dad’s gotten 1000% better talking about periods since we started using Shark Week euphemisms:

"Ah, it’s Shark Week?" = "Ah, you started your period?"

"Harpoons on deck?" = "Do you have enough pads/tampons/etc?"

"Chum stocks are holding?" = "Do you need chocolate/midol?"

"Supplies are low cap’n" = "Yes, please."

"What kind (of shark) is it?" = "How do you feel?"

  • "It’s a Nurse Shark" = "I’m fine/not bad"
Reposted bythepunneryschlachtorosnaichschaafcongrevevertheerA-Bene-Placitookretowazupamacoun

August 10 2014


my dad doesn’t just say “panic at the disco” my dad YELLS “PANIC!!!” then waits a few seconds and quietly adds “…at the disco” and I appreciate his dedication to punctuation

Reposted byavaritianaichapertureschottladenkanikanireloveutionshikajischlachtoroscongreve

June 16 2014


June 03 2014




my dad just said “what if My Chemical Romance comes back as My Chemical Steady Relationship and just does parodies their old songs and it will be like ‘The White Parade’ or ‘I’m Perfectly Fine.’”

This could work.

(via ellen-love-portia)

Reposted byMyChemicalRomancewhovilleLogHiMashikajiniemcuFlypnfafnirscavevoydlolufomatussSpecies5618coloredgrayscaleMissPunchlinejanananenastraycatschlachtorosschaafLeMightyMustachenibotFiriathznuhmolotovcupcakedenianfascinateddupabladamelicaasvndeadlysinsloveveryone

May 25 2014

9502 3b52





So my Dad and brother took separate cars to dinner tonight, and this happened.

they look like they are arguing about who is going to go home and change

Oh, they were.

Jake: You’ve got to be kidding me
Dad: You SAW me walk through the kitchen on my way to pick up your sister!
Jake: No seriously do you have an extra shirt in your car this is ridiculous

Oh my god they’re gonna kill me they didn’t want to even walk into the restaurant together let alone have this many people repost this photo

Reposted byorangeugarteukesuapertureemciumolotovcupcakeablDerOrwischeredhellyoungandstupiddoamozgmnienieboliakisamePorcelainloozikeratrantavertheermrymrumrukatastrofostinksschaafcukierekTomred97BincsmcalysiumavaritiaLeMightyMustachewindingroadsjotccepanda3mushuKryptoniteschlachtorosschmutzkornwrednalefukrybusjbeancygi-chansstefaniaKurkaWyluzujdarkshamemasterUbikjuhudoradupabladaathalismonkeyvaultschaafszpaqusaras1024v3bsobezironiifuckthisfuckthatchicalocareloveutionpuszkaNoO60BAMcK

March 20 2014

3804 e5c8



Reposted bylukatatinselLeMightyMustacheleftandrightholamasdocoloredgrayscalemkaynoaSmokehead18yfoxgallagherPoxerleyrerfadenbcliffordlatheaTiffanysmstrzpraesensnaichcelldonotmindmeMorgulszilakasessitaKepanovertheerWecanbeheroesviva-salvadoresadworldankinpyzamazowieckaMinistrantlubitickimickishadowfax42baboomusialkeseptemberdollakmonidesnothingiseverythingsoberqbshtalloscarioJoschIsAGeekbrianmayLeWhoadamniegadamatrantafrittatensuppeszpaqusPachadishiaraenan-nudelsalatmakemewannadieraniphilipsteffanniechtostragglermatkaboskazuposkaratmaniaras1024darksihayahonigwurmdazzlingDieKleineMyfuckthisfuckthatpuszczykvolblindtextrandomuserhesiamelagruftyreloveutionMissPunchlinestettinerirukandjisyndromegiacomo-xschlachtorosDerOrwischershitty-lovesrslyzooziabuffyrulezvoydkrybusanuszkadaegilarabusmagikmzoeniesDataCrowkatzenpongmakrosIamdonehereambassadorofdumbnerdanelMissDeWordesicksinLordelliottmishastabeltaneelectricityscapelossoszzuuoojanananenajezuschytrusSarielradaetykijouziouthelifeofdinabrightbytesqampyKryptonitefrywolitkaschlachtorosjosephinetinexnicapicellaIntedzonykatastrofoxjoancatherinehahatgrzejconsommeisnotcominghomeKashydlynolriceballmajaksunnyvalleyanoinayacoernelnibblercallisiadol-blathannamarjariipesymistatugendfurieOsorkoniuspralinaanonimowakoniburningensobiosmonkeyheadlychnisdesistefan2904PaseroVirusInfernalServerErrortishkastarbuggoaskalicelordminxmanxxMrWaspKurkaWyluzujxmascolarahederecrispybonesnefertari180undercoverschafjestemfokaDaggeroftheMindscottytmTaihoupsilocybemermaidTeenageDirtbagdrink-meYarrickenidkapelsenpfannkuchenAnna-Hexeto-nieistotneevangelynsignalpiekillerklownkaesekuchenf4m8kr-liknataliamadanielbohrerteaholicStadtgespenstmolotovcupcakeschaaf

March 14 2014

1144 925f 500


my dad just recently learned about “omg”

Reposted fromwonders- wonders- vianienie nienie

February 08 2014

This is one of my favorite posts because that cat’s fucking name is fucking meatloaf
Reposted byptom4georgiatinexAMcKedhellDingodoodlmatiduckollinzynierPerpetuummobiledianazetmajakDeLaLuesucznikschlachtorosSakerosfretkaTomred97babette3kasiula3withmyheadinspacexypusloluforocknrollqueennatuszkaLukasYorkArecaSdeathisjustafeelingwhoisthereblahcollectingregretssoberminiaturaskillzmcflytishkaidl3xh0p3skizzomusztardachristinedamepheenaeliennhesiamelaJestemTylkoMojacoffeebitchokretowazupaladypsychosexyDesaecwastelandkatzenpongmissvenallydivipytqcemekGeistergurkefrittatensuppedrayashalittleredridingtreemolotovcupcakericeballsilmusialkenojkawilczaschlachtorosayamexannlisiawiedzmaDieKleineMysmutnomiimitacjecoloredgrayscalesputniksweetheartstragglerlinemaddkrimsonelectricityscapeMissDeWordeKurkaWyluzujnotnecessarilyNoCinderellajankomuzykbeinthejestemtuchaberrydragonembraceatrantatildecarlandlouisemondeyzovolldostapudziesztyreloveutionbanshemonkeyvaultvrxcongrevekissedbyfirejstrblim-so-retardednaichtomashkrybuscamaelsmoke11HypothermiaradaetykiMilkyJoedanoniskoliarspartyhardorgtfoundoneeemmaleadpesymistaemciuambassadorofdumbcinnamomumpicakusPaseroVirushellocoldworldsinkingsunQudacibuffyrulezbluevalentineonceagainkethralvertheerZuruimacouncatsbananaappleapertureScatty92cocciuellakohakuniceshothahatvaniteDerOrwischernervengiftAryessrdxtheotherjamesmisseccentricwojtkusinistropapyrTheOtherRugiamichalinaxStadtgespenstwrong-suspectYSoSeriousLeMightyMustacheCordeliaAutumPsaikowandirandomuserstillbreathingakisamecalysiumMrCoffemollitaubeclementiinesLee-Flowskyconsensualnonconsentjezuschytrusdrink-mesplinterpieYarrickSeekDanteTodeswalzaiamthepiratebvllshitr00skiQuidamrugiasqampyl3ftiTheOtherRugia

January 24 2014

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I'll Get The Ice Creams © Baba Olmak
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