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thatsridicarus

Envy Is Like…



Envy is like a worm that keeps gnawing on your apple of a heart whenever you see someone else’s apple heart growing bigger.
It’s that fire alarm that keeps blaring. It’s the fire that burns your tongue when you see someone else lick an ice-cream.
It’s the chilling hailstorm in your lungs upon seeing others on a beach vacation. It’s the forest fire on your spine upon seeing others enjoying Winter Wonderland.

Envy is all the edits you’ve implied for your photo on Photoshop after a few references.
It’s a deathwish upon everyone better and luckier than you.
It’s the urge to throw a party for yourself during someone else’s celebration. It does not differentiate best friends from enemies.

It’s the flipside of Schadenfreude, it’s Gluckschmerz, It’s Neid.
It’s that persistent green unseen that keeps you awake at night.
Insisting that you focus on a negative thought while you try to distract yourself and think happy thoughts.

It’s the attention you suddenly need when someone gets attention, which is weird because you normally don’t need the attention.
It’s the venom spitting from your throat when you congratulate someone upon their achievements.
It’s that poison you keep drinking when you know it’s dangerous for you but you can’t stop because you’re addicted.

It’s too late, you’re addicted to it like it’s a drug. Like it’s life support when you obviously know it’s not. It’s more of a lethal injection disguised as life support. It’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

It runs through your arteries, it’s filling your bathtub, it’s slowly drowning you in your own house. It’s the feeling of VANISHING FROM EXISTENCE BY THE MINUTE when you DO, IN FACT, EXIST AND CONTINUE TO BE RECOGNIZED BY OTHERS FOR YOUR TALENTS AND KINDNESS WHETHER YOU’RE AWARE OR NOT.

It’s the river current you’ve fallen into
But instead of trying to cling onto a branch
You purposely drowned
And let it take your own life.

Reposted byavaritia avaritia

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